Advertisements are becoming more and more common in everyday life. Is it a positive or negative development?

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Advertisements take up more and more space in daily life. In my opinion,
advertisements
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the advertisements
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increasing
day
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by
day
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is a positive
development
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which can lead to improved competition among
the
Correct article usage
apply
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companies
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and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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ensure a growing national economy.
To begin
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with, there are positive consequences of advertising increasing
day
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by
day
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for
companies
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and
customers
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.
Most
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A most
The most
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important
development
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is that
this
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can ensure more competition among the dominant
companies
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in the market.
This
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leads to
companies
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to
increase
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their
product
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diversity and they try to enhance their customer satisfaction. In
this
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way,
customers
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can have a choice
of
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between
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a better
product
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and
better
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a better
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purchase. Take some
customers
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, who have some criteria for choosing a
product
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,
for example
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; they can create an attention-grabbing difference in the quality of
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product
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the product
a product
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as they are picky people.
Moreover
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,
this
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can provide positive
development
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for the national economy.
Advertisement
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Advertisements
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can encourage the economic growth of businesses in many different sectors.
This
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promotion
firstly
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owns
companies
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' improvement economically that can be through attracting more
customers
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and
then
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it contributes to their industries that more money is in circulation as both production and consumption
increase
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. All of these may lead to economic welfare which can
increase
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employment and can create new job opportunities. In
this
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way, the country's economy has benefited from the positive effect of these.
To conclude
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,
although
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the
increase
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in advertising may seem bad at first that it becomes more and more popular, it has brought some positive consequences for
this
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to be considered
positive
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a positive
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development
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.
Submitted by ilknurkaradmn on

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introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is good, but they could be clearer and more articulate, offering a stronger thesis statement and summary of arguments.
logical structure
For coherence and cohesion, ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea that is expanded upon. Use a range of linking words and phrases to create better flow between sentences and paragraphs.
supported main points
Your body paragraphs do start with topic sentences, but the development of the ideas could benefit from more specific examples and elaboration to fully support the points made. Try to incorporate evidence or data to back up your statements for a stronger argument.
complete response
While the essay addresses the prompt, the ideas could be more fully extended. Be sure to answer all parts of the question and develop each point thoroughly. Refer to the prompt regularly to stay on track.
clear comprehensive ideas
The ideas in the essay are understandable but could be expressed more precisely and with a greater degree of clarity. Aim for a more sophisticated range of vocabulary and sentence structures.
relevant specific examples
You provided some general examples, but to achieve a higher score, include more detailed and specific examples that are directly relevant to the points you're making.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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