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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Today, many people use the internet and smartphones to transfer money to friends, family, and businesses. Is this a positive or negative development?

In today's world, digital fee systems have revolutionised the
way
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 individuals and businesses manage finances.
While
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 some communities contend that online banking provides a risk of hacking or technological problems, others argue that online spending is simple to carry out and saves time. In my view,
this
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 trend represents a highly positive development, despite drawbacks related to security. One of the most significant advantages of online banking is that it expands convenient
cash
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. Unlike traditional baking methods, society should go to banks or indeed carry
cash
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;
as a result
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, it was easy to overspend. By the
way
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, more and more children play with paper
Check wording
apply
show examples
cash
Use synonyms
, including painting and tearing paper. People no longer need to visit physical banks, which saves considerable time and effort.
This
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 is particularly beneficial for the society that lives abroad, who need to send financial support to their family regularly.
For example
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,
according to
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 world statistics, 50% of the community leave their family to either work or study abroad, so it is the best
way
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 to share a budget. Another major benefit is enhanced financial accessibility. Mobile banking provides the opportunity to save
cash
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 with financial services, which are limited in normal banking—if the community faces robbers, they will not take money from anywhere, unless the police cannot afford to uncover thefts.
Furthermore
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, workplaces have access to pay wages more significantly; they do not need to count it for every worker. Admittedly, online fund transfers are not without drawbacks; there exists cybercrime, which takes
cash
Use synonyms
 from more and more people through online payment. To expand on
this
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further
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, they often call the community and introduce themselves as bankers and ask for a code from them, which is a
way
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 to maintain a budget from cards.
However
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, these situations are worked on by banks to continually improve security. In conclusion, there are valid arguments on both sides. I completely believe that online banking is a positive development as it saves both time and energy. In terms of why people think it's a negative development, it's that cybercrime is accessible to disappear.

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structure
Plan your ideas first. Use 2 or 3 clear points and give each a simple example.
language
Keep language clear. Use short, plain sentences. Fix wrong words.
coherence
Link ideas with easy words like also, but, because. Use a clear topic sentence in each paragraph.
task
Clear view stated at the start.
coherence
Shows an effort to discuss both sides.
content
Gives examples about time save and access.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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