Governments spend large amounts of money on art that not all people enjoy. This money could be better spent on things that benefit the majority of the population. Do you agree?
Governments should spend money on other more comprehensive development rather than all on art.
This
essay will provide two faces, which fulfill
the satisfaction of individuals.
One primary measure is that governmental institutions can pay more attention to public transport. Change the spelling
fulfil
This
is because public transit has become necessary in public life, especially for employees and students. Accordingly
, establishing certain policies on transportation can optimize the satisfaction of the public. For instance
, both increasing the frequency of MRT and declining the price of high-speed railways can significantly alleviate people’s commuting pressures. Simultaneously, these advantages can also
raise the willingness of humans to take transit, eventually facilitating countries’ economies. Consequently
, with less stress, individuals may feel better about their lifestyle, thereby receiving healthier physical and mental well-being.
Another important method is that administrations can enhance more resources on education, particularly for undergraduates. For example
, cutting down educational fees can considerably improve students’ financial burden, helping them focus more on their major and experiments. With these academic benefits, undergraduates could have more chances to innovate cutting-edge technology, propel the technological development of society, and ultimately create a more convenient environment. Additionally
, prompting education can order a
long-term social growth to increase the competitiveness of countries.
Correct article usage
apply
While
art is indeed a vital subject, focusing on the other options may be a more adequate and holistic decision. Furthermore
, with multi-faceted development, people can be satisfied simultaneously, who come from different background.
To sum up
, I firmly agree that administrations spend more resources on other items such
as transportation, education, and other equally important subjects. Improving public transport can provide more efficient commuting. At the same time. Supporting educational fees for students might have more potential to accelerate the construction of countries. Although
art can have a similar effect on satisfying humans, by increasing the other advantages, the satisfaction of the public will be optimized.Submitted by daniellin0717 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence
Ensure that you transition smoothly between paragraphs to maintain coherence. For instance, linking sentences could be improved to make the flow between ideas more seamless.
cohesion
Work on making your conclusion more paraphrased from the introduction while still summarizing the main points. This can enhance the cohesion of your essay.
task response
The essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the task, covering both public transportation and education thoroughly.
task response
The main points are well-supported with relevant and specific examples, adding credibility to the arguments.
coherence
The logical structure of the essay is sound, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
cohesion
The essay maintains a clear focus throughout, which contributes to its comprehensibility.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.