IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

An increasing number of professional such as doctor and teacher are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. what problem does this cause and what are the solutions?

#doctor #teacher #countries #work
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Profesional
Use synonyms
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as
Use synonyms
doctor
Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
show examples
 and
Use synonyms
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 from poorer
countries
Use synonyms
 choose to move to developed
countries
Use synonyms
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increasing
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
day
Fix the agreement mistake
days
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine the cause of a movement
Change preposition
of profesional
show examples
profesional
Correct your spelling
professional
Use synonyms
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
 and possible
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
to
this
Linking Words
problems
Fix the agreement mistake
problem
show examples
. The two main
couses
Correct your spelling
causes
courses
 of
Add an article
an
the
show examples
increasing number of professional
Use synonyms
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
 from poor
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 to work in developed
countries
Use synonyms
 are low
Use synonyms
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
 and
minim
Correct your spelling
minimal
show examples
fasilities
Correct your spelling
facilities
. Many
Use synonyms
doctor
Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
show examples
 or
teacher
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
 in rural areas almost more than one
years
Fix the agreement mistake
year
show examples
 without having
Add an article
an
show examples
annual
salary
Use synonyms
. For
instances
Fix the agreement mistake
instance
show examples
,
Use synonyms
Teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
Teachers
show examples
 and
Use synonyms
doctor
Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
show examples
working in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 village which
very
Add a missing verb
is very
show examples
 far from
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
 frequently had
wage
Fix the agreement mistake
wages
show examples
 so late
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 they
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 to feed their own days.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 working in the distances places sometimes lack of
fasilities
Correct your spelling
facilities
 and make
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 hard to giving services to society.
For example
Linking Words
, In
Papua
Add a comma
Papua,
show examples
 there are many people
still
Correct pronoun usage
who still
show examples
 lack
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
knownledge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 because the access
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
road
Correct article usage
the road
show examples
 are difficult so
make
Verb problem
apply
show examples
teacher
Use synonyms
 or
doctor
Use synonyms
harden
Wrong verb form
are hard
show examples
 to get there. Some possible solutions to
this
Linking Words
problems
Fix the agreement mistake
problem
show examples
 are increasing
salary
Use synonyms
 and
create
Wrong verb form
creating
show examples
 good
fasilities
Correct your spelling
facilities
.
By giving
Change preposition
Giving
show examples
 high wages to
profesional
Correct your spelling
professional
Use synonyms
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
 it
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 make them happy and
exciting
Replace the word
excited
show examples
 to
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
,
renovation
Replace the word
renovating
show examples
Correct article usage
the infrastucter
show examples
infrastucter
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
 and
provided
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
 equipment to support
they
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
worker
Use synonyms
activies
Correct your spelling
activities
and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
make them fill
confertable
Correct your spelling
comfortable
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their duty. In
conclution
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
salary
Use synonyms
 and
fasilties
Correct your spelling
facilities
 are the main problems
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
Use synonyms
doctor
Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
show examples
 and
Use synonyms
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 in needy
countries
Use synonyms
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 move to
thrive
Wrong verb form
thriving
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
.
By giving
Change preposition
Giving
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 high
salary
Use synonyms
 and
provided
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
 good
fasilties
Correct your spelling
facilities
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can
overcome
Verb problem
encourage
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
to move to
thrive
Wrong verb form
thriving
show examples
counties
Correct your spelling
countries
show examples
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
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task achievement
Stay on topic and make sure that everything you write about directly relates to answering the question asked. Cover all parts of the task to achieve a full response.
coherence cohesion
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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