Some people think that the government should increase tax on unhealthy food to encourage people to start eating healthy. Do you agree or disagree?
The graph provides data
of
Change preposition
on
hamburger
, Fix the agreement mistake
hamburgers
pizza
and fried chicken
consumed by Mauritian teenagers between 1985 and 2015.
In 1985, pizza
was by far the most popular product with about 60 numbers of times
eaten per week. Hamburger
and Fried chicken
were eaten in similar quantities, the first one was approximately 10 number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
times
and the second one is
just below Wrong verb form
was
of
10.
Change preposition
apply
However
, during this
25-year period, there was a dramatic decrease of
Change preposition
in
pizza
from 60 to 10 numbers of times
. The consumption of hamburger
and fried Fix the agreement mistake
hamburgers
chicken
showed an upward trend steadily till 2005, but the consumption of fried chicken
increased much less significantly. According to
the graph, in 2000 the chart illustrates the same level of consumption of all types of products jus
around 40 Correct your spelling
just
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
times
.
Overall
, it should also
be mentioned that at the start of the period, pizza
was the most popular fast food, which was replaced by hamburger
and fried Fix the agreement mistake
hamburgers
chicken
by 2015.Submitted by dulskywork on
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introduction conclusion present
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion, which are essential for establishing context and summarizing the main points, respectively. To improve, ensure the essay starts with an introductory sentence that clearly states the topic and ends with a conclusion that summarizes the main trends shown in the graph.
logical structure
While there's a basic structure in the essay, the logical flow can be enhanced. Transitions between ideas are minimal, and there can be confusion in understanding the sequence of events as presented. To work on the structure, use more linking words and phrases, and ensure each paragraph has a clear mini-introduction and summary sentence.
supported main points
Main points were identified, but the explanation can be improved by offering clearer and more detailed analysis. It's important to not just state data points but to discuss their meaning, the relationships between them, and possibly explain any significant trends or changes. Provide more commentary and analysis on the data presented for a stronger essay.
complete response
The response needs to fully answer the question, ensuring all parts are covered. The instructions demand an analysis of trends over a 30-year period, and the essay should comprehensively reflect these changes. More detail and a clearer focus on the task are needed; ensure you're not simply listing data but are analyzing the trends in depth.
clear comprehensive ideas
While some ideas are clear, they can be expressed more comprehensively. Aim to give more detailed descriptions and analyses of the trends over time, including clear evidences from the graph. This will help to develop a better understanding for the reader and will improve the essay's quality.
relevant specific examples
Use specific examples and data from the graph to substantiate your points and give the reader a clear understanding of the information presented. This involves quoting figures accurately and relating them directly to the point you are discussing. Precision in presenting statistical data is crucial.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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