Some people feel that learning a foreign languageis an essential component of a child's education. Others feel that learning a foreign language is often a waste of time that can be better spent on learning technologyand other vocational subjects.

People have different perceptions when it comes to their
children
's education. Some want them to learn at least one foreign dialect as that will help them in their
overall
development
whereas
, others believe that
instead
of focussing on a completely new speech,
children
should put all their efforts into learning the trade courses that are available in their nation as
this
will help them to have a better career in future. The world is becoming a global village nowadays. People are migrating from one country to another in search of a better life.
For example
, people from developing countries like India are shifting to Western countries where they can have a better standard of life.
This
is one of the main reasons parents prefer their
children
to learn a language like English as a majority of the population of the world understands
this
language. On the other side, some believe that
children
should focus on learning technology and other trades like mechanics as these will provide them with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good job
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
and they will have a better and safer future.
For instance
, a child will learn all about being a tradesperson from his high school, if he is confident about the career that he opted for. The gist of the matter is that parent's plans for their
children
's future matter a lot. If they want them to settle in other countries, they will prefer them to be proficient in another speech but if they want them to be around their own cities, they will prefer them to be involved in vocational studies.
Submitted by kiran.deep24 on

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task achievement
Your essay nicely outlines different viewpoints on the importance of learning a foreign language vs. focusing on vocational subjects. To further enhance task achievement, consider expanding your discussion on how these choices impact a child's future beyond job opportunities. Incorporating a comparison or a broader range of effects (such as cultural understanding or personal development) could provide a more comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
You have structured your essay in a clear, logical way, which makes it easy to follow your arguments. For an even stronger coherence and cohesion score, try to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly within and between paragraphs. Additionally, a concise conclusion reflecting on both sides of the argument before presenting a final, balanced viewpoint would make your conclusion more impactful.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples that support your main points, such as migration for a better life and vocational studies for job security, which strengthens your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The clear division of paragraphs based on viewpoints helps readers easily understand the contrasting perspectives on children’s education.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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