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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Throughout the world retirement age is fixed but its strange to note that there is no retirement age for the legislators . Should there be retiring age for the legislators ? According to you what should be the retiring age for them

#world #retirement #age #note #legislators
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The absence of a fixed
retirement
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age
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 for
legislators
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 globally raises questions about the effectiveness and adaptability of political systems. Introducing a
retirement
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age
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 for
legislators
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 could have both advantages and drawbacks. Advocates for a
retirement
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age
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 contend that it would facilitate the infusion of fresh perspectives into legislative bodies. Younger individuals might bring innovative ideas and contemporary viewpoints, contributing to a more dynamic governance.
Additionally
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, concerns about cognitive decline with
age
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 could be addressed, ensuring that
legislators
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 can
fulfill
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fulfil
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 their duties without hindrance.
However
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, opposing arguments emphasize the value of experience and expertise that seasoned
legislators
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 bring to the table. Institutional knowledge gained over years of service is crucial, and the removal of experienced individuals could lead to a loss of valuable insights.
Moreover
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, assessing an individual's competence based solely on
age
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 may be oversimplified; some
legislators
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 may remain highly effective well into their later years. If a
retirement
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age
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 were to be implemented, determining the appropriate
age
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 would be intricate and context-dependent. Rather than fixating on
age
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, a more pragmatic approach might involve periodic assessments of individual capacities, skills, and performance.
This
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 would ensure that
legislators
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, regardless of
age
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, continue to serve effectively, balancing the benefits of fresh perspectives with the value of experience. Ultimately, the decision should consider the specific needs and expectations of each country's political landscape
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task achievement
Your essay generally presents a clear position throughout the response, but it lacks fully developed arguments. You need to extend your main points by presenting more detailed explanations, implications, and examples.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates an ability to organize ideas logically but can benefit from better paragraph structuring and use of cohesive devices to strengthen the overall flow. Aim for clear topic sentences and ensure each paragraph revolves around a single main idea.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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