Nowadays, there is a trend that reports of media focus on problems and emergencies rather than positive development. Some people think it is harmful to individuals and to society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

At present, a lot of
news
agencies are more likely to inform the story that concentrates on negative aspects rather than positive aspects. In
this
way, an enormous
news
receiver argued that it is damaging both the person and the overview of the community. I partially agree with these reasons, because I think that there are both positive and negative sides to
this
matter. To elaborate
this
more clearly, I will provide my point of view in the following paragraphs.
To begin
with, the positive aspect of the report that emphasises the problems and emergencies is to remind and recall
people
and change agents to recognize issues in the community. Especially, The challenges that have a huge impact on plenty of victims, and must be resolved immediately.
For example
, the newspaper reported a story about a multitude of water in the dam which is caused by heavy rain. In
this
news
, the local
people
can stay up to date with reporting in order to get themselves ready for urgent evacuation.
On the other hand
, there is the negative side of reporting that concentrates on the issues and disasters. the
people
who have been following the
news
about the problem in society, tend to have a perspective on the obstacle rather than attempting to find the solution to solve the problem. In fact, the way to solve the problem is crucial for every level in the community.
For instance
, some
people
have followed the bad
news
for a long time, and they are
finally
more likely to get down and not effort to find a solution. In conclusion,
news
agencies report
news
that emphasises problems rather than solutions. I provided my opinions to explain
this
issue, that there are both positive and negative effects. the positive side is to remind
people
in order to get themselves ready for crisis. the negative side is causing
people
to get down and not want to seek the solution.
Submitted by mahawichet on

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task achievement
Your essay presents a viewpoint on the topic, with an attempt at providing both positive and negative sides; however, it lacks comprehensive examples to support the main ideas effectively. Reference to specific news stories, data, or studies would significantly strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes an introduction and conclusion; however, the thesis statement should be clearer in stating your position. Both sections require better development to establish the purpose and summarise your key points more effectively. This structure is crucial for achieving coherence and guiding the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Try to organize the essay into clear paragraphs, focusing on one main idea per paragraph with supporting sentences that directly relate to the primary argument of the paragraph. Transition words are important to guide the reader and improve the flow of information, so make use of them between ideas and paragraphs.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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