Some people think that keeping pets is good for children while others think it is dangerous and unhealthy. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Certain groups of individuals state that owning
pets
can prove to be beneficial for the younger generation. Despite this
, there is an opposing camp that it can only bring harm to the household due to
their concerns that it might harm the child and the animal might pose a sanitary issue for the household. I think that having a pet
around the house only adds more misery for people
for a few reasons which are set out below.
Firstly
, the common argument that is
utilized by people
that are for owning pets
is that they are human's best companions and therefore
should be taken care of by them. Nonetheless
, I would argue that having a pet
and maintaining their health and general well-being is expensive. The existence of a pet
means another mouth to feed. Not everybody has the necessary capital to fund their own lives. Furthermore
, taking proper care of the pet
can distract people
from other crucial activities such
as academic improvement or spending time with family members
Secondly
, they claim that most animals that are present in the facility are healthy and do not present any risk of disease. Nevertheless
, there is still a chance that someone they know might be allergic to anything that the animal has. People
, especially children and those whose immune systems are compromised may experience health issues. For instance
, the saliva and fur of pets
might cause respiratory issues and skin irritation.
In summary, although
there are individuals who may perceive owning pets
as something positive. I firmly believe people
are burdened with financial responsibility and are susceptible to illnesses when a pet
is in the house.Submitted by riani.the2 on
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task achievement
You provided a solid discussion on both views and presented your opinion, which demonstrates a complete response. However, the persuasive power of your arguments could be enhanced with more specific examples or evidence. Consider incorporating studies or statistics, and personal anecdotes to strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay generally follows a logical structure with clear paragraphs dedicated to each viewpoint, but there could be more fluid transitions between ideas. Working on using a variety of linking words and phrases will help with that. Also, a more balanced discussion where the opposing views get nearly equal attention can improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
Revisiting the introduction to add a clearer thesis statement could make the essay’s argument more explicit. Additionally, making your conclusion more reflective of the discussion's depth by maybe summing up the key points more comprehensively would help tie up the essay nicely.
grammar and vocabulary
A few grammatical errors and awkward phrasing are present in your essay, which can slightly impede clarity. Proofreading your essay or having someone else review it can help catch these issues. Language variety and complexity in sentences would enhance readability.
task achievement
You addressed both sides of the argument comprehensively, which is crucial for a balanced discussion essay.
relevance
Your points are generally clear and you managed to stay on-topic throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay is logical, with clear delineation of different viewpoints in separate paragraphs.