Nowadays, most people try to balance between work and other part of lives. Unfortunately, not many achieve this balance. What problems does this cause? Can you suggest some solutions to this issue?
Nowadays, most
people
try to balance
between work
and other part
of Change the wording
another part
other parts
lives
. Unfortunately, not many achieve Correct pronoun usage
their lives
this
balance
. What problems
does this
cause? Can you suggest some solutions to this
issue?
Nowadays, most people
fail to achieve a work
-life balance
and this
causes several serious problems
for each individual and their family. The essay will discuss these effects and provide some ways to address this
problem.
There are a number of impacts caused by losing the balance
between work
and personal life. On the one hand, a heavy workload keeps people
hectic all day which means they hardly can have time
to do exercises or any other outdoor activities. Therefore
, people
often have to deal with several health problems
even when they are still young. For instance
, an office worker working at his office eight to ten hours a day without doing workout
can easily prone to Correct article usage
a workout
be
obesity and may deal with high blood pressure Unnecessary verb
apply
problems
which has been common so far. On the other hand
, the lack of time
for family also
causes negative impacts on the upbringing children
. It is believed that home is the first school of kids Change preposition
of children
whereas
parents are too overwhelmed with their work
to take care of the children. As a result
, children are unable to fully grow and develop their potentials
and even can suffer from some mental health Fix the agreement mistake
potential
problems
if they are ignored for too long.
People
can learn how to deal with stress and heavy workloads by applying several methods proven to be effective in managing a balanced life. First,
we should have a specific plan with a list of things in priority before starting a day. This
solution can enable us to allocate time
for important decisions, stay focused, and work
more effectively. Additionally
, devising a flexible working plan and system is also
another solution. If people
can actively arrange their own working schedule without strictly following working hours at the office, they can have more time
for themselves to relax, feel less stressed, and take care of their families.
In conclusion, people
are dealing with some problems
with heath
and family caused by an imbalance between Correct your spelling
health
work
and life. However
, these effects can be tackled by a smart working plan and a flexible working scheme.Submitted by hoangminhtri127 on
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coherence cohesion
Remember to maintain a consistent and logical flow of ideas throughout your essay. While your essay demonstrates a logical structure, try to improve the transitional phrases between ideas for clearer cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear, which is commendable. Ensure they succinctly summarize your main points and properly encapsulate the essence of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Make sure all your main points are thoroughly supported with specific examples and details. Your essay contained some general statements; providing concrete examples can strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
You addressed the task well by identifying problems and suggesting solutions. To enhance your score, ensure that every aspect of the prompt is fully explored and addressed.
task achievement
Your ideas are quite clear, but strive for greater depth and development of these ideas to produce a more comprehensive response.
task achievement
Incorporating more varied and precise examples can significantly bolster the persuasive power of your essay. Aim to include specific, real-world scenarios that directly relate to your points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.