IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You want to rent out a small apartment to a family, and you have decided to advertise it. Write a letter to the editor of a local newspaper asking to advertise your ad on the front page of the newspaper. In your letter, give details of the ad that you want to publish mention that you want the ad to be published on the front page say how you would like to pay for the advertisement

#rent #apartment #editor #newspaper #ad #front #page #advertisement
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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
 letter to inform you that I want to give an advertisement in your newspaper. I want to rent out my house to a family and for that, I selected to publish its details in your newspaper.
This
 is a small apartment, located in the centre of the city which is suitable for a couple. Because it is in the main area, It would be convenient to commute from one place to another, but slightly It is expensive. I want to put my ad. on the front page
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because people get more attention on the first page in comparison to the rest pages. I am using all types of payment methods and can pay you instantly after your reply. Kindly inform me of your payment amount, methods and details, so I can pay as soon as
.
Correct word choice
possible.
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 Looking forward to hearing from you. Your Faithfully, Ankit
Submitted by ap064911 on

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coherence cohesion
Organize the letter into clear paragraphs to enhance readability: one for the introduction, one for details about the apartment, another for the request to have the ad on the front page, and finally one for payment details and closing.
coherence cohesion
Improve logical structure by making sure each paragraph serves a clear purpose, which will improve coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Include a clearer conclusion or closing statement to give the letter a more polished and cohesive ending.
task achievement
The letter successfully includes all required details, making it a complete response to the task.
task achievement
The language used in the letter maintains a formal tone, which is suitable for this type of correspondence.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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