IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

With the increased global demand in oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more resources. To what extent do you agree?

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Oil
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 and
gas
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 have been the most prominent sources of
energy
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 for various industries like automobiles, electricity production, etc. In recent times, there has been a significant increase in the global demand for
oil
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 and
gas
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. The increasing demand but limited supply of
oil
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 and
gas
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 is popularizing the idea that the undiscovered parts of the world should be explored to get more access to these resources.
Although
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 I agree that these undiscovered
areas
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 might prove to be a great resource for
oil
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 and
gas
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, at the same,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 can be detrimental to our earth’s natural diversity. These undiscovered
areas
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 may be a rich source of
oil
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 and
gas
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, but until they are explored, their potential will remain ruled out. Middle Eastern countries were once an undiscovered resource of
oil
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, but now they are global leaders in
oil
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 supply. Researchers and scientists can do their studies and tests to see if these undiscovered
areas
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 can be mined for
oil
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 and
gas
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. In case they are successful, it will help to deal with the ever-increasing global need.
On the contrary
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, these activities might affect
mother nature
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Mother Nature
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 which can be extremely harmful. Exploiting new undiscovered
areas
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 can
further
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 pollute our environment which in itself is a big problem for the modern world.
For instance
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, part of the exploring process will be cutting down trees. As history has taught us, toying with nature can lead to big disasters which we shall avoid at all costs.
To conclude
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,
although
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 opening up these undiscovered
areas
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 may help with the current problem of shortage of
oil
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 and
gas
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, we should start looking for other renewable
energy
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 sources as alternatives like solar
energy
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, wind
energy
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, and more. It will help us to build a better and sustainable world for our future generations.

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coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Your arguments are clearly presented and generally well-supported.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global demand
  • finite resources
  • energy consumption
  • exploiting
  • untouched ecosystems
  • carbon emissions
  • climate change
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable energy solutions
  • geopolitical consequences
  • territorial disputes
  • dependency
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