Many people believe that school uniforms stop children from expressing their personality and individuality. Therefore, uniforms should be banned and children be allowed to wear what they want. Do you agree or disagree?
There are many people
believe
that Correct pronoun usage
who believe
school
uniform
Fix the agreement mistake
uniforms
is preventing
to Wrong verb form
prevent
express
personality and uniqueness of the Wrong verb form
expression of
students
, and student
should be allowed to choose their Fix the agreement mistake
students
school
dress
. I disagree with this
view which I will explain in this
essay.
The people who advocate the
diverse Correct article usage
apply
school
dress
are arguing that pupuil
should understand the importance of proper Correct your spelling
pupils
pupil
dress
from their school
days which will help them to professionally dress
in future. Moreover
, the colour
choices are different in
each person. The Change preposition
for
students
should have the right to choose thier
favourite Correct your spelling
their
colour
school
dress
. School
time is moulding the future of children which should not be neglected. For example
, a recent study indicated that the vibrant colour
dress
will increase the confidence level of the students
.
The non-uniform school
dress
will segregate students
based on their economic status. The students
who have able to buy more dress
will be different from the pupils who has
few Change the verb form
have
dress
. Change to a plural noun
dresses
For example
, students
using branded dress
will Fix the agreement mistake
dresses
be attract
others and they may pester their parents to buy expensive Change the verb form
attract
dress
. Fix the agreement mistake
dresses
Furthermore
, uniforms will help to easly differenciate
each Correct your spelling
easily differentiate
school
Change noun form
school's
students
. For instance
, a news reported that the people identified the lost student during the study trip based on the school
uniform.
In conclusion, the right to choose their favourite colour
for the school
dress
will improve students
dressing ability and confidence. The Change noun form
students'
student's
non uniform
Add a hyphen
non-uniform
dress
migt
segregate the Correct your spelling
might
students
based on the financial status of the family which will be detrimental.Submitted by ck.manshad on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
You generally presented a clear position throughout the response, however, you could enhance clarity by directly addressing the task and ensuring each paragraph has one clear main idea. You need to fully develop your arguments to increase your score.
coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks some coherence due to issues like grammatical errors and poor word choices which can confuse the reader. Work on establishing clear and logical progression of ideas. Also, pay attention to paragraphing and ensure that each paragraph has a clear central theme.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
