Many people believe that school uniforms stop children from expressing their personality and individuality. Therefore, uniforms should be banned and children be allowed to wear what they want. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #school #uniforms #children #personality #individuality

There are many people

believe

Correct pronoun usage

who believe

show examples

that

school

uniform

Fix the agreement mistake

uniforms

show examples

is preventing

Wrong verb form

prevent

show examples

express

Wrong verb form

expression of

show examples

personality and uniqueness of the

students

, and

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

should be allowed to choose their

school

dress

. I disagree with

this

view which I will explain in

this

essay. The people who advocate

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

diverse

school

dress

are arguing that

pupuil

Correct your spelling

pupils

pupil

should understand the importance of proper

dress

from their

school

days which will help them to professionally

dress

in future.

Moreover

, the

colour

choices are different

Change preposition

for

show examples

each person. The

students

should have the right to choose

thier

Correct your spelling

their

favourite

colour

school

dress

School

time is moulding the future of children which should not be neglected.

For example

, a recent study indicated that the vibrant

colour

dress

will increase the confidence level of the

students

. The non-uniform

school

dress

will segregate

students

based on their economic status. The

students

who have able to buy more

dress

will be different from the pupils who

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

few

dress

Change to a plural noun

dresses

show examples

For example

students

using branded

dress

Fix the agreement mistake

dresses

show examples

will

be attract

Change the verb form

attract

show examples

others and they may pester their parents to buy expensive

dress

Fix the agreement mistake

dresses

show examples

Furthermore

, uniforms will help to

easly differenciate

Correct your spelling

easily differentiate

each

school

Change noun form

school's

show examples

students

For instance

, a news reported that the people identified the lost student during the study trip based on the

school

uniform. In conclusion, the right to choose their favourite

colour

for the

school

dress

will improve

students

Change noun form

students'

student's

show examples

dressing ability and confidence. The

non uniform

Add a hyphen

non-uniform

show examples

dress

migt

Correct your spelling

might

segregate the

students

based on the financial status of the family which will be detrimental.

Submitted by ck.manshad on Thu Dec 07 2023

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task achievement

You generally presented a clear position throughout the response, however, you could enhance clarity by directly addressing the task and ensuring each paragraph has one clear main idea. You need to fully develop your arguments to increase your score.

coherence cohesion

Your essay lacks some coherence due to issues like grammatical errors and poor word choices which can confuse the reader. Work on establishing clear and logical progression of ideas. Also, pay attention to paragraphing and ensure that each paragraph has a clear central theme.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

248 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people believe that school uniforms stop children from expressing their personality and individuality. Therefore, uniforms should be banned and children be allowed to wear what they want. Do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

More and more people in their free time are doing dangerous activities such as mounting climbing. Is this a positive or negative development?

In many countries today,crime novels and TV crime drames are becoming more and more popular. Why do you think these book and TV showes are popular? what is your opinion of crime fiction and TV crime dramas?

Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but there is no agreement about whether it is the government’s responsibility. What is your opinion?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for qualifications. Discuss both views

Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths ang weaknesses. it is right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender ?