Many people believe that school uniforms stop children from expressing their personality and individuality. Therefore, uniforms should be banned and children be allowed to wear what they want. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #school #uniforms #children #personality #individuality

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There are many people

believe

Correct pronoun usage

who believe

show examples

that

school

Use synonyms

uniform

Fix the agreement mistake

uniforms

show examples

is preventing

Wrong verb form

prevent

show examples

express

Wrong verb form

expression of

show examples

personality and uniqueness of the

students

Use synonyms

, and

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

should be allowed to choose their

school

Use synonyms

dress

Use synonyms

. I disagree with

this

Linking Words

view which I will explain in

this

Linking Words

essay. The people who advocate

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

diverse

school

Use synonyms

dress

Use synonyms

are arguing that

pupuil

Correct your spelling

pupils

pupil

should understand the importance of proper

dress

Use synonyms

from their

school

Use synonyms

days which will help them to professionally

dress

Use synonyms

in future.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the

colour

Use synonyms

choices are different

Change preposition

for

show examples

each person. The

students

Use synonyms

should have the right to choose

thier

Correct your spelling

their

favourite

colour

Use synonyms

school

Use synonyms

dress

Use synonyms

School

Use synonyms

time is moulding the future of children which should not be neglected.

For example

Linking Words

, a recent study indicated that the vibrant

colour

Use synonyms

dress

Use synonyms

will increase the confidence level of the

students

Use synonyms

. The non-uniform

school

Use synonyms

dress

Use synonyms

will segregate

students

Use synonyms

based on their economic status. The

students

Use synonyms

who have able to buy more

dress

Use synonyms

will be different from the pupils who

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

few

Use synonyms

dress

Change to a plural noun

dresses

show examples

For example

Linking Words

students

Use synonyms

using branded

Use synonyms

dress

Fix the agreement mistake

dresses

show examples

will

be attract

Change the verb form

attract

show examples

others and they may pester their parents to buy expensive

Use synonyms

dress

Fix the agreement mistake

dresses

show examples

Furthermore

Linking Words

, uniforms will help to

easly differenciate

Correct your spelling

easily differentiate

each

Use synonyms

school

Change noun form

school's

show examples

students

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, a news reported that the people identified the lost student during the study trip based on the

school

Use synonyms

uniform. In conclusion, the right to choose their favourite

colour

Use synonyms

for the

school

Use synonyms

dress

Use synonyms

will improve

Use synonyms

students

Change noun form

students'

student's

show examples

dressing ability and confidence. The

non uniform

Add a hyphen

non-uniform

show examples

dress

Use synonyms

migt

Correct your spelling

might

segregate the

students

Use synonyms

based on the financial status of the family which will be detrimental.

Submitted by ck.manshad on Thu Dec 07 2023

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task achievement

You generally presented a clear position throughout the response, however, you could enhance clarity by directly addressing the task and ensuring each paragraph has one clear main idea. You need to fully develop your arguments to increase your score.

coherence cohesion

Your essay lacks some coherence due to issues like grammatical errors and poor word choices which can confuse the reader. Work on establishing clear and logical progression of ideas. Also, pay attention to paragraphing and ensure that each paragraph has a clear central theme.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

248 words

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Many people believe that school uniforms stop children from expressing their personality and individuality. Therefore, uniforms should be banned and children be allowed to wear what they want. Do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Many people believe that countries should produce food for the whole population and import as little food as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People, who go to live in other countries should follow the customs and tradition of the new country, to what extent to do you agree or disagree?

People believe that some individuals are born with leadership skills, while others think that leadership skills can be made. Discuss both views.

With advancing technology, the development of automated vehicles is becoming reality. In your opinion, what are the advantages and disadvantages of self-driving vehicles?