IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Fast food is a part of life in many places and as a result, this leads to bad effects in lifestyle and diet. To what extent do you agree?

#food #part #life #places #effects #lifestyle #diet
The popularity of fast
food
 growing in size
provoke
Correct subject-verb agreement
provokes
show examples
 negative effects
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 modern societies, I only partially agree with
such
 opinions for some advantages prompted
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
such
trend
Correct article usage
a trend
show examples
. On the bright side, fast
food
 could satisfy people's needs in
this
fast-speed
Correct your spelling
fast-paced
show examples
 society, hustlers who
trade in
Verb problem
spend
show examples
 a vast amount of time
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
studying and working are able to have
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
show examples
 in
short
Add an article
a short
show examples
 period of time.
Moreover
, the standard
manue
Correct your spelling
menu
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 tourists who are in foreign countries a sense of security when they wanna eat something familiar.
For example
, many fast
food
 restaurants could be found in international
exhibition
Fix the agreement mistake
exhibitions
show examples
, not only for efficiency but to satisfy participants from around the world who are not used to local
food
 cuisine.
On the other hand
, in my perspective, the incremental popularity of fast
food
 could prompt various negative
influence
Fix the agreement mistake
influences
show examples
. First of all,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of fast
food
consistent
Replace the word
consists
show examples
 of high sugar and salt,
along with
 lots of oil, consumers are
endanger
Wrong verb form
endangered
show examples
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 different diseases,
such
 as obesity, diabetes, as
wel
Correct your spelling
well
 as cardiovascular illness.
Secondly
, a few of
big
Correct article usage
the big
show examples
fast
Add a hyphen
fast-food
show examples
food
 companies monopoly local markets,
while
 local
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
struggling
Wrong verb form
struggle
show examples
 to survive.
For example
,
Macdonald
Correct your spelling
McDonald
show examples
 and KFC take up the largest proportion of
food
 in many regions, which reduce the variety of
food
 choice for consumers. To summarize, it is inevitable that fast
food
is
Verb problem
will
show examples
 become more and more popular, which has pros and cons, the good thing is it shorten the time people
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
eating,
while
such
situation
Correct article usage
a situation
show examples
 could endanger the survival of small business and reduce the variety of
food
.
Hence
, I could only partially agree that the
growing
Replace the word
growth
show examples
 in fast
food
 industries
cause
Change the verb form
causes
show examples
 only
bed
Correct your spelling
bad
show examples
 influence to societies.
Submitted by unapoya0916 on

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task achievement
Ensure the introduction clearly presents the topic and your position. Avoid ambiguity in your stand and make it explicit whether you are agreeing, disagreeing, or discussing to what extent you agree or disagree.
task achievement
Provide a balanced argument with equal development of ideas for both the positive and negative aspects of the issue. Your conclusion should summarize these ideas and restate your position clearly.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow of ideas. Employ appropriate linking words to connect ideas and paragraphs, ensuring they flow smoothly from one to the next, without abrupt transitions or disconnected thoughts.
coherence cohesion
Check that your introduction and conclusion are clear and adequately developed. They should frame your essay effectively, with the introduction setting up the topic and your viewpoint, and the conclusion providing a succinct summary without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Support main points with clear and specific examples or explanations. General statements should be substantiated to give your essay weight and to demonstrate an understanding of the topic.
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