Some people believe that all wild animals should be protected. Others say that few wild animals should be protected instead”. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is clear that
animals
play a crucial part in human
lives
. Some claim that all wild beasts should be preserved
whereas
others hold that few wild
animals
should be protected whose being endangered.
This
essay shall discuss both viewpoints and I strongly agree with the latter opinion for the following reasons. On the one hand, all wild creatures should be conserved by the authorities because all wild critters are prominent
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
human
lives
.
This
means it assists
to maintain
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in maintaining
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the ecosystem
along with
providing food,
shelters
Fix the agreement mistake
shelter
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, medicine and other facilities to the population, so
ruling
Add an article
the ruling
show examples
party should
be preserved
Wrong verb form
preserve
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all forest beasts
by
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through
show examples
conservative programs and creating awareness
to
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among
show examples
people.
For example
,
Indian
Correct article usage
the Indian
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government allocates more than ten million dollars for protecting all wild
animals
in every
year
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year's
show examples
budget. Needless to say, every creature is
to be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
important and it helps people's livelihood in many different ways,
hence
all forest critters should be conserved. On the other other, a few wild
animals
should be preserved
instead
of everything whose being
endangered
Correct article usage
an endangered
show examples
and rare species. Some rare
animals
are being
an endangered positions
Correct the article-noun agreement
an endangered position
endangered positions
show examples
around the world, the ruling party should invest a huge amount to protect these species for future generations.
For instance
,
white
Correct article usage
the white
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Tiger is an endangered critter in India, so they should more focus
to conserve
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on conserving
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this
animal
by
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through
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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conservational
Replace the word
conservation
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programs. Not only Tigers but
also
polar
pands
Correct your spelling
bears
are in
list
Add an article
the list
show examples
of rare and endangered creatures around the world.
Therefore
, these kinds of critters should be conserved
instead
of all wilds. In conclusion,
although
all wild breasts are of utmost importance to human
lives
and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
to maintain our ecosystem, an endangered and rare species namely white Tigers and polar pandas only should be protected
instead
of all wild
animals
.
However
, in my opinion,
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
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all wild
animals
should be conserved
due to
every wild creature is crucial for
human's
Change noun form
human
show examples
lives
and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
helps to maintain the ecosystem properly.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Focus on clearly organizing your essay. This includes having a very clear introduction, body paragraphs that each discuss a single main idea, and a clear conclusion. It is vital to ensure that each paragraph flows logically to the next.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure your main points are supported with specific examples or explanations. While you have attempted to provide examples, they need to be more detailed and directly linked to the argument you are making. Try to cite specific studies, reports, or statistics where possible.
Task Achievement
Work on clarifying and directly answering the task question throughout the essay. Ensure that you discuss both views thoroughly before providing your own opinion. Your personal stance should be clear, but it should not overshadow the requirement to discuss both sides of the argument.
General
Improve the precision of your language and reduce grammatical errors by practicing structured sentences and using a variety of grammatical structures accurately. Pay attention to the correct use of articles, plural forms, and verb tenses.
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