Some people believe that all wild animals should be protected. Others say that few wild animals should be protected instead”. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It is clear that
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animals
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play a crucial part in human
lives
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. Some claim that all wild beasts should be preserved
whereas
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others hold that few wild
animals
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should be protected whose being endangered.
This
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essay shall discuss both viewpoints and I strongly agree with the latter opinion for the following reasons. On the one hand, all wild creatures should be conserved by the authorities because all wild critters are prominent
of
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in
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human
lives
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.
This
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means it assists
to maintain
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in maintaining
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the ecosystem
along with
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providing food,
shelters
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shelter
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, medicine and other facilities to the population, so
ruling
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the ruling
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party should
be preserved
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preserve
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all forest beasts
by
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through
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conservative programs and creating awareness
to
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among
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people.
For example
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,
Indian
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the Indian
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government allocates more than ten million dollars for protecting all wild
animals
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in every
year
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year's
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budget. Needless to say, every creature is
to be
Verb problem
apply
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important and it helps people's livelihood in many different ways,
hence
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all forest critters should be conserved. On the other other, a few wild
animals
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should be preserved
instead
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of everything whose being
endangered
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an endangered
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and rare species. Some rare
animals
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are being
an endangered positions
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an endangered position
endangered positions
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around the world, the ruling party should invest a huge amount to protect these species for future generations.
For instance
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,
white
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the white
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Tiger is an endangered critter in India, so they should more focus
to conserve
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on conserving
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this
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animal
by
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through
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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conservational
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conservation
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programs. Not only Tigers but
also
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polar
pands
Correct your spelling
bears
are in
list
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the list
show examples
of rare and endangered creatures around the world.
Therefore
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, these kinds of critters should be conserved
instead
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of all wilds. In conclusion,
although
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all wild breasts are of utmost importance to human
lives
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and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
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to maintain our ecosystem, an endangered and rare species namely white Tigers and polar pandas only should be protected
instead
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of all wild
animals
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.
However
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, in my opinion,
about
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apply
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that
Correct determiner usage
apply
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all wild
animals
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should be conserved
due to
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every wild creature is crucial for
human's
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human
show examples
lives
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and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
helps to maintain the ecosystem properly.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Focus on clearly organizing your essay. This includes having a very clear introduction, body paragraphs that each discuss a single main idea, and a clear conclusion. It is vital to ensure that each paragraph flows logically to the next.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure your main points are supported with specific examples or explanations. While you have attempted to provide examples, they need to be more detailed and directly linked to the argument you are making. Try to cite specific studies, reports, or statistics where possible.
Task Achievement
Work on clarifying and directly answering the task question throughout the essay. Ensure that you discuss both views thoroughly before providing your own opinion. Your personal stance should be clear, but it should not overshadow the requirement to discuss both sides of the argument.
General
Improve the precision of your language and reduce grammatical errors by practicing structured sentences and using a variety of grammatical structures accurately. Pay attention to the correct use of articles, plural forms, and verb tenses.
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