Some people believe that all wild animals should be protected. Others say that few wild animals should be protected instead”. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is clear that
animals
play a crucial part in human lives
. Some claim that all wild beasts should be preserved whereas
others hold that few wild animals
should be protected whose being endangered. This
essay shall discuss both viewpoints and I strongly agree with the latter opinion for the following reasons.
On the one hand, all wild creatures should be conserved by the authorities because all wild critters are prominent of
human Change preposition
in
lives
. This
means it assists to maintain
the ecosystem Change preposition
in maintaining
along with
providing food, shelters
, medicine and other facilities to the population, so Fix the agreement mistake
shelter
ruling
party should Add an article
the ruling
be preserved
all forest beasts Wrong verb form
preserve
by
conservative programs and creating awareness Change preposition
through
to
people. Change preposition
among
For example
, Indian
government allocates more than ten million dollars for protecting all wild Correct article usage
the Indian
animals
in every year
budget. Needless to say, every creature is Change noun form
year's
to be
important and it helps people's livelihood in many different ways, Verb problem
apply
hence
all forest critters should be conserved.
On the other other, a few wild animals
should be preserved instead
of everything whose being endangered
and rare species. Some rare Correct article usage
an endangered
animals
are being an endangered positions
around the world, the ruling party should invest a huge amount to protect these species for future generations. Correct the article-noun agreement
an endangered position
endangered positions
For instance
, white
Tiger is an endangered critter in India, so they should more focus Correct article usage
the white
to conserve
Change preposition
on conserving
this
animal by
Change preposition
through
the
Correct article usage
apply
conservational
programs. Not only Tigers but Replace the word
conservation
also
polar pands
are in Correct your spelling
bears
list
of rare and endangered creatures around the world. Add an article
the list
Therefore
, these kinds of critters should be conserved instead
of all wilds.
In conclusion, although
all wild breasts are of utmost importance to human lives
and it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
helps
to maintain our ecosystem, an endangered and rare species namely white Tigers and polar pandas only should be protected Correct subject-verb agreement
help
instead
of all wild animals
. However
, in my opinion, about
Change preposition
apply
that
all wild Correct determiner usage
apply
animals
should be conserved due to
every wild creature is crucial for human's
Change noun form
human
lives
and it
helps to maintain the ecosystem properly.Correct pronoun usage
apply
Submitted by reanudeepan on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Focus on clearly organizing your essay. This includes having a very clear introduction, body paragraphs that each discuss a single main idea, and a clear conclusion. It is vital to ensure that each paragraph flows logically to the next.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure your main points are supported with specific examples or explanations. While you have attempted to provide examples, they need to be more detailed and directly linked to the argument you are making. Try to cite specific studies, reports, or statistics where possible.
Task Achievement
Work on clarifying and directly answering the task question throughout the essay. Ensure that you discuss both views thoroughly before providing your own opinion. Your personal stance should be clear, but it should not overshadow the requirement to discuss both sides of the argument.
General
Improve the precision of your language and reduce grammatical errors by practicing structured sentences and using a variety of grammatical structures accurately. Pay attention to the correct use of articles, plural forms, and verb tenses.
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