Some parents buy their childern a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys.

It is a common norm to see that a
numerous
Correct word choice
large
show examples
number of minors demand more and more stuff for their leisure needs from their procreators.
This
essay discusses and elaborates on the benefits and demerits of the issue regarding
kids
having a profusion of playing items. The playful things are important for two important reasons. First of all, it fosters creativity, which comes into effect by virtue of playing with the
toys
that
challenges
Change the verb form
challenge
show examples
analytical
Correct article usage
the analytical
show examples
and
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
skills of
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
children
a child
show examples
children
.
For example
, jigsaw puzzle games have the capacity to arouse intrigue in
kids
which is not only a pastime but could
also
enhance their critical thinking; putting various
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cardboard into their appropriate
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
places in order to build the whole picture requires meticulousness and
incesiveness
Correct your spelling
incisiveness
inclusiveness
.
As well as
this
, the engagement in
toys
always
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
parents
to leave with some spare
time
for themselves. Take
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
example of video games; without them,
kids
will be overly dependent on their
parents
to play for their recreational needs.
However
, buying more products for
children
's amusement has some demerits as well. Many
children
often pester their
parents
with
an incessant requests
Correct the article-noun agreement
incessant requests
an incessant request
show examples
to buy expensive and more
toys
, resulting in jeopardizing the budget of
parents
and forcing them to do more hours at work.
In addition
to creating
unnecessary
Add an article
an unnecessary
show examples
financial burden for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
families, more
toys
can be
also
disruptive to
children
's studies.
This
can be explained by the fact that they are vulnerable to attention-grabbing features of various
toys
.
As a result
,
children
sometimes develop an
unfavaurable
Correct your spelling
unfavourable
behavioural tendency of spending their crucial period on a plethora of available entertainment channels
instead
of studying. To illustrate, video games not only foster addictiveness
due to
their inherent captivating visual graphics but
also
make young ones
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
lose track of
time
; which resultantly,
leave
Correct subject-verb agreement
leaves
show examples
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them inadequate
time
for studies;thereby,
leads
Wrong verb form
leading
show examples
to their poor academic performance.
Therefore
, I argue that if more
toys
are provided to
kids
, it could distract them even more from studies In conclusion, a large number of
toys
could recoup some precious moments for
parents
while
augmenting
intellectual
Correct article usage
the intellectual
show examples
growth of the teenagers at the same
time
.
However
, the negative impacts of
this
development on the finances of a family and
Correct article usage
the repurcussions
show examples
repurcussions
Correct your spelling
repercussions
on the learning of students cannot be overlooked. How the father and mother manage their
children
who persistently demand
for
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
more and more
toys
is an issue that often evades the intelligence of many procreators. To nurture their little ones' future,
parents
need to manage and tackle
this
problem effectively.
Submitted by rohit.narad90 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that paragraphs are well-structured, with clear topic sentences that introduce the content of the paragraph, and that all further sentences relate closely to the topic sentence to develop a coherent argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use cohesive devices (linking words, pronouns, etc.) appropriately to signal the relationships between ideas, and make sure they reflect the logical relationship you intend to convey.
Task Achievement
Ensure that you fully address all parts of the task, making sure your essay remains directly relevant to the question throughout. Address both the advantages and disadvantages in balanced measure.
Task Achievement
Develop your ideas comprehensively by extending your reasoning, explaining the implications, or giving detailed examples that are directly related to the point being made. Avoid overgeneralization.
Task Achievement
Use specific examples to illustrate your points whenever possible. These examples should be detailed, relevant, and enhance your argument, rather than being only briefly mentioned or unrelated to the topic.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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