IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems.

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The increasing
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply

It seems that quantifier use may be incorrect here.

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the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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population, especially in big cities is the cause of many disasters. Overproduction, overconsuming,
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

pollution
Correct word choice
and pollution

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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, are just some problems that the society of our times can not solve. Of course, there are solutions for every
problem
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
for
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

example
Add a comma
example,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase for example. Consider adding a comma.

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 people should protect natural and artificial resources as much as possible.
The
Correct article usage
Pollution

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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pollution
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 of the
air
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 is probably one of the biggest problems
of
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 urban areas. As
the
Correct article usage
a

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 matter of fact, the concentration of the transport, thermic centrals and even people are the reason why the
air
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 is polluted.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the chemical composition of the
air
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 in Beijing, New York City and
others
Correct quantifier usage
other

It seems that quantifier use may be incorrect here.

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 megapolises is modified as the concentration of carbon dioxide is higher.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there is no
problem
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 without a solution. The utilization of alternative energy,
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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responsible consumption and the installation of
air
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 filters could solve the
problem
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 of
air
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.
pollution
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in
Netherlands
Correct article usage
the Netherlands

Your article usage with the geographic name Netherlands may be incorrect.

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 to reduce the number of
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport

It seems that transports may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 based on
fuels
Fix the agreement mistake
fuel

It seems that fuels may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, the Government increased the costs of
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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car maintenance, so the number of bicycles
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 increased. Actually, the case of
Netherlands
Correct article usage
the Netherlands

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 is a great example for all the countries in order to reduce all types of
pollution
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Air
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.
pollution
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 is a
problem
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 a lot of cities struggle with, but it does not mean that it is impossible to solve it. Indeed, the results will appear when every person
will understand
Wrong verb form
understands

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb will understand. Consider changing it.

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 that the city where he/she lives is first of all his/her home
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker because. Consider removing the comma.

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 because every small action has a global impact when there are eight billion people on the earth.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction lacks a clear thesis statement which makes it difficult for the reader to understand the main focus of the essay. You should clearly state your position or the main points you will discuss.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay structure should be more logically organized with distinct paragraphs for introduction, each main point, and conclusion. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that ideas flow logically between paragraphs with appropriate use of linking words.
Coherence and Cohesion
Support your arguments with more specific examples and data. This will strengthen your main points and provide evidence for your assertions.
Task Achievement
While you have addressed the topic, your response needs to be more developed with a clearer exposition of your main ideas. Consider expanding on your points, explaining how they relate to the topic, and explore the implications or results more thoroughly.
Task Achievement
Ensure that you provide comprehensive coverage of the topic, addressing all aspects of the task. You should also work on articulating your ideas more clearly, and ensure that each paragraph contributes to answering the task prompt effectively.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more relevant examples to support your points. These examples should be specific and relevant to the issues discussed in the task. Generic or very broad examples lessen the impact of your argument and may not adequately demonstrate your understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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