Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age. Some think they should begin at at least 7 years old. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

One of the social concerns today relates to
education
.
While
it is widely believed that
children
need to be sent to
school
at four years old, others think that they should start
school
at the age of seven. I’m going to discuss these opposing points of view. In my opinion,
in addition
to affecting relationships, going to
school
at 7 has some benefits for
children
. On the one hand, starting
education
at an early age can obstacle communication between family members. Family is the most important factor in
children
's development. It's about upbringing, care and emotional influence. Letting
children
grow up obediently and understand how life happens depends on the teaching from their
parents
. If
children
are separated from their
families
too early and only receive knowledge from
school
, they have just received advanced
education
but do not have intimate communication with their
families
.
For example
, there were a number of movies that portray the situation of educated
families
,
parents
let their kids focus on studying too early when they just knew to run and talk. The consequence later is that the child's psychological aspect is not emotional when they are close to their
parents
.
That is
because they have not been directly exposed to or taught by their
families
for a long time.
On the other hand
, starting
school
early has some advantages.
Firstly
,
children
can get familiar with the learning environment early and
also
nurture good behaviour
such
as self-sufficiency and respect towards adults.
Secondly
, new knowledge which the kids get is the most permenant information. Because there are some researchings about that toddlers are the most suitable age for starting
school
, they can understand some simple learnings faster than teenagers and older ages. In conclusion, starting
school
early has advantages for academic success and disadvantages for relationships betweens
parents
and
children
. In my opinion,
parents
have the responsibility to let their kids adopt
education
and ensure they have absorbed knowledge in
school
.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

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introduction conclusion presence
Your introduction provides a good foundation for the topic, but it lacks a clear thesis statement that outlines your main points. Additionally, your conclusion should restate your thesis and summarize the main points of the essay more clearly. Aim to provide a cohesive summary in your conclusion that encapsulates your overall argument.
logical structure
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complete response
While you have answered the prompt, the response could be expanded upon to fully address the task. Ensure a balanced discussion of both views and your own opinion. Aim to provide a more elaborate explanation of your stance, substantiating it with detailed arguments and examples.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your essay does include clear ideas, but they could be expressed more comprehensively. Work on developing your points fully with more elaboration and depth. This will provide a more thorough understanding of your perspective on the topic.
relevant specific examples
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • social development
  • structured learning environments
  • essential skills
  • reading, writing, and arithmetic
  • social norms
  • undue stress and pressure
  • natural curiosity and creativity
  • unstructured play
  • emotional and psychological development
  • mature
  • rigors of formal education
  • natural developmental timeline
  • life skills
  • decision-making
  • problem-solving
  • informal learning
  • structured educational system
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