While it is commonly thought that parents are responsible for supervising children during play, others believe that they should be given the freedom to explore. This essay will discuss these opposing viewpoints. In my opinion, children must be carefully supervised while playing.

While

Linking Words

it is commonly thought that

parents

Use synonyms

are responsible for supervising

children

Use synonyms

during play, others believe that they should be given the freedom to explore.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss these opposing viewpoints. In my opinion,

children

Use synonyms

must be carefully supervised

while

Linking Words

playing. On the one hand, it is argued that

children

Use synonyms

should be observed at all times during play. The

primarily

Replace the word

primary

show examples

reason is

because

Change preposition

that

show examples

their health is of paramount importance.

Parents

Use synonyms

can

also

Linking Words

intervene immediately as soon as they recognise potential dangers.

For instance

Linking Words

parents

Use synonyms

must keep a close eye on their

children

Use synonyms

when they play on a playground, as they could get injured at any time. Another crucial reason is that a child's well-being

also

Linking Words

plays a vital role in their lives.

For example

Linking Words

, by watching

children

Use synonyms

’s play,

parents

Use synonyms

can recognise their strengths and weaknesses, which in turn helps to create an appropriate environment for them to learn and develop.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, it is strongly believed by some that

children

Use synonyms

have the right to freely explore.

This

Linking Words

opinion is often held because they want to assist their

children

Use synonyms

in building a sense of autonomy. A second point is that free play could help

children

Use synonyms

build confidence and a sense of respect.

For example

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

must have an opportunity to choose what they would like to play and learn. In conclusion, it is commonly thought that supervising

children

Use synonyms

’s activities is a matter of great concern for

parents

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

others assume that

children

Use synonyms

can play without adult observation. Personally, I believe that checking on

children

Use synonyms

when they play is significantly crucial.

yeshomeclass

Aug 28, 2025

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Task Response

Task Response: The essay shows a clear view and talks on both sides, but it needs deeper ideas and more clear examples to fully back the view.

Coherence and Cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: Link ideas better and make paragraphs focused. Some long sentences and gaps in flow. Use simple and clear connecting words to tie points.

Strength

Clear stance in introduction and conclusion

Strength

Good use of contrast words like On the one hand / On the other hand

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

262 words

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While it is commonly thought that parents are responsible for supervising children during play, others believe that they should be given the freedom to explore. This essay will discuss these opposing viewpoints. In my opinion, children must be carefully supervised while playing.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

An increasing number of children are overweight which could result in many problems when they are older both in terms of their health and healthcare costs. Why do you think so many children are overweight? What could be done to solve this problem?

In some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solutions?

n many countries, traditional dress and costumes are considered effective ways of maintaining links with the past. How effective can traditional costumes be, in this sense? What other ways exist to help citizens connect with a country’s past?

Some people think that we should invent a new language for international communication. Will the benefits of this weigh the problems associated with it?