Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To that extent do you agree or disagree. You should write at least 250 words.
Nowadays, most
people
consider that the pupils need to some subjective science
topic so that they should learn it and they have to pass their exam. The school
only provide to
Change preposition
apply
this
experience that's why if they want
acquire some talent Add the particle
want to
such
as cooking, dressmaking or art subject then
they should learn from their parent or relatives. However
, on the other
hand
some Add a comma
hand,
people
think about this
sitiation
is not correct because Correct your spelling
situation
school
should be educational
roof and tutors must teach about Add an article
the educational
an educational
nut
only Correct your spelling
not
science
topics but also
they should teach some skills
how can they do. This
essay sugggests
that the second view is closest to the truth but Correct your spelling
suggests
other
side is not to be ignored. The discussion follows below.
First and foremost, many pupils have been studying in Correct article usage
the other
school
for five years, sometimes their parents working and many times their mother and father can not find a
enough time for Remove the article
apply
rasing
their child. Correct your spelling
raising
Furthermore
, These children
can not learn about some skills
from their parents and they do not have any opportunities than this
school
. The individual who dont
know any Correct your spelling
don't
skills
or basic life
requirement
Fix the agreement mistake
requirements
such
as cooking, houseworking
or dressmaking Correct your spelling
housework
house working
they
wouldn't be qualified in the future Correct pronoun usage
apply
life
. For instance
, according to
an American psychologist, the
someone who can not earn some simple Correct article usage
apply
life
experience they do
not exactly succeed in any area.
Wrong verb form
does
Secondly
, many people
want to
academic success and Change preposition
apply
passing
examinations and they claim that it can be if teachers teach about only Wrong verb form
to pass
this
topics. Lots of Correct determiner usage
these
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
exert the greatest motivation to
Change preposition
for
children
's growth and they send their children
to prospering school
. Fix the agreement mistake
schools
Additionally
, this parents
believe that the schools should focus on Change the determiner
this parent
these parents
science
, quality and quantity topics, they consider if they want to some skills
for their children
then
they can enroll
the pupils in art or lifelong education centre.
In conclusion, no one wants a negative education for their Change the spelling
enrol
children
or themselves, but some want to focus only on science
and academics, while
others want to acquire the skills
needed for life
. Although
both views are right, I think it is necessary to learn life
skills
at school
.Submitted by dytayseozgul on
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coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates some understanding of the task with a basic introduction and conclusion in place. However, there is a significant lack of coherence, often due to grammatical errors and unclear ideas. It is essential to structure your paragraphs clearly with topic sentences and supporting ideas. Focus on clarity of expression and relevance of content concerning the IELTS criteria.
task achievement
Regarding task achievement, your response should fully address all parts of the task, maintain a clear position throughout the response, and support your arguments with appropriate examples. This essay does not sufficiently develop arguments and relevant examples to back up points, which is crucial in fulfilling the task's requirements. Aim to enhance your ideas with clear and specific illustrations while directly responding to the prompt.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.