Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To that extent do you agree or disagree. You should write at least 250 words.

#schools #focus #success #examinations #skills #cookery #woodwork #school #friends

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Nowadays, most

people

Use synonyms

consider that the pupils need to some subjective

science

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topic so that they should learn it and they have to pass their exam. The

school

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only provide

Change preposition

apply

show examples

this

Linking Words

experience that's why if they

want

Add the particle

want to

show examples

acquire some talent

such

Linking Words

as cooking, dressmaking or art subject

then

Linking Words

they should learn from their parent or relatives.

However

Linking Words

on the other

Linking Words

hand

Add a comma

hand,

show examples

some

people

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think about

this

Linking Words

sitiation

Correct your spelling

situation

is not correct because

school

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should be

educational

Add an article

the educational

an educational

show examples

roof and tutors must teach about

nut

Correct your spelling

not

show examples

only

science

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topics but

also

Linking Words

they should teach some

skills

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how can they do.

This

Linking Words

essay

sugggests

Correct your spelling

suggests

that the second view is closest to the truth but

other

Correct article usage

the other

show examples

side is not to be ignored. The discussion follows below. First and foremost, many pupils have been studying in

school

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for five years, sometimes their parents working and many times their mother and father can not find

Remove the article

apply

show examples

enough time for

rasing

Correct your spelling

raising

show examples

their child.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, These

children

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can not learn about some

skills

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from their parents and they do not have any opportunities than

this

Linking Words

school

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. The individual who

dont

Correct your spelling

don't

know any

skills

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or basic

life

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requirement

Fix the agreement mistake

requirements

show examples

such

Linking Words

as cooking,

houseworking

Correct your spelling

housework

house working

or dressmaking

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

wouldn't be qualified in the future

life

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For instance

Linking Words

according to

Linking Words

an American psychologist,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

someone who can not earn some simple

life

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experience

they do

Wrong verb form

does

show examples

not exactly succeed in any area.

Secondly

Linking Words

, many

people

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want

Change preposition

apply

show examples

academic success and

passing

Wrong verb form

to pass

show examples

examinations and they claim that it can be if teachers teach about only

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

topics. Lots of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

Use synonyms

exert the greatest motivation

Change preposition

for

show examples

children

Use synonyms

's growth and they send their

children

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to prospering

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school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

Additionally

Linking Words

this parents

Change the determiner

this parent

these parents

show examples

believe that the schools should focus on

science

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, quality and quantity topics, they consider if they want to some

skills

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for their

children

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then

Linking Words

they can

enroll

Change the spelling

enrol

show examples

the pupils in art or lifelong education centre. In conclusion, no one wants a negative education for their

children

Use synonyms

or themselves, but some want to focus only on

science

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and academics,

while

Linking Words

others want to acquire the

skills

Use synonyms

needed for

life

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Although

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both views are right, I think it is necessary to learn

life

Use synonyms

skills

Use synonyms

school

Use synonyms

Submitted by dytayseozgul on Fri Dec 08 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay demonstrates some understanding of the task with a basic introduction and conclusion in place. However, there is a significant lack of coherence, often due to grammatical errors and unclear ideas. It is essential to structure your paragraphs clearly with topic sentences and supporting ideas. Focus on clarity of expression and relevance of content concerning the IELTS criteria.

task achievement

Regarding task achievement, your response should fully address all parts of the task, maintain a clear position throughout the response, and support your arguments with appropriate examples. This essay does not sufficiently develop arguments and relevant examples to back up points, which is crucial in fulfilling the task's requirements. Aim to enhance your ideas with clear and specific illustrations while directly responding to the prompt.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

357 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

academic success
passing examinations
cookery
dressmaking
woodwork
learn from family and friends
personalized learning environment
supportive learning environment
well-rounded education
school curriculum
resources
expert guidance
enhance creativity
problem-solving
teamwork

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Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To that extent do you agree or disagree. You should write at least 250 words.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be compulsory part of high school programs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

«Some modern artists receive huge sums of money for the things they create, while others struggle to survive. Governments should take steps to resolve this unfair situation» To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that the best way to control accidents on city streets is to lower the speed limit but others think there are more important issues that need attention before roads can be safe. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

People spend too much money on family celebrations such as birthdays and weddings. What is the importance of these celebrations? Do you think people really spend too much?