Examine the arguments in favour of and against animal experiments, and come to a conclusion on this issue. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.
Experimenting on
animals
is a practice that has existed since the beginning of time. Nowadays, this
inhumane and cruel usage can be, most of the times
, Fix the agreement mistake
time
subsituted
with Correct your spelling
substituted
lab
experiments but this
is not the case for every country or field of application.
When it comes to experiments on animals
, the first example that might come to mind is animal testing. It is considered cheaper to use animals
for testing products
than will be used on humans, once eligible. In the past, people believed that products
tested on animals
were safer than those tested in a lab
. Luckly
, enormous Correct your spelling
Luckily
progresses
in technology and biotechnology Change the wording
progress
signs of progress
in particular
, completely shifted this
vision. Unfortunalty
, not every country or brand can afford to build a Correct your spelling
Unfortunately
lab
for testing their products
, so oftentimes animals
are still used for this
purpose. Moreover
, animal testing is not seen as a cruel and old-fashioned practice everywhere in the world. For instance
, it is considered illegal in every EU country whereas
it is mandatory for products
that are ment
to be sold in China. Those cultural differences often force brands to choose between an ethical or a more profitable choice.
The only form of animal experiment that I find justifiable is for education purposes, but with moderation. I feel it is not mandatory for every student, Correct your spelling
meant
for
instance
I do not think it is appropriate to force Add a comma
instance,
highschooler
to dissect a living frog. Correct your spelling
high schoolers
However
, dissectin
an animal is fundamental for biology students who need to deeply understand a living organism. Correct your spelling
dissecting
dissection
Animals
testing has been very helpful in the past; Change the noun form
Animal
for instance
, vaccines where
tested on pigs before cell synthesis. In today's Correct your spelling
were
time
its use is Add a comma
time,
replaceble
by Correct your spelling
replaceable
replaced
lab
tests but it is still convenient for educational purposes,
since it is not quite expensive. We should not forget that Remove the comma
apply
animals
are still living beings with emotions and ability
to feel pain, so experimenting on them is considered abuse.
In conclusion, experimenting on Correct article usage
the ability
animals
can be useful for marketing or educational purposes but should be avoided at all costs. It is not fair to abuse of
a Change preposition
apply
defencelss
Correct your spelling
defence
being
so brands, countries and Unnecessary verb
apply
schools
systems should always opt for a more Change the noun form
school
ethical
appropriate approach.Change the word
ethically
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Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure that the essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion that respectively set up the topic and summarize the argument. The introduction and conclusion currently present require more clarity and a firmer stance on the issue.
Supporting Examples
While the essay presents arguments for and against animal experiments, stronger and more specific examples should be included to effectively illustrate points and support the arguments.
Logical Structure
Maintain a clear and logical structure throughout the essay. Paragraphs should be coherent, with one main idea per paragraph that is clearly developed and supported.
Cohesion
Avoid repetition and redundancy to ensure better cohesion between ideas. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs should be smooth and demonstrate clear relationships between ideas.
Task Completion
Fully address all parts of the task by providing a balanced discussion on both sides of the argument and reaching a clear conclusion. While the essay does present arguments, it could do so more comprehensively, with a more decisive conclusion derived from the arguments presented.
Language Usage
Use a range of sentence structures and vocabulary to showcase language proficiency. Some parts of the essay show a tendency towards simpler structures and common vocabulary, which may hinder the score for a higher band.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite