Examine the arguments in favour of and against animal experiments, and come to a conclusion on this issue. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

Experimenting on
animals
is a practice that has existed since the beginning of time. Nowadays,
this
inhumane and cruel usage can be, most of the
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
,
subsituted
Correct your spelling
substituted
with
lab
experiments but
this
is not the case for every country or field of application.  When it comes to experiments on
animals
, the first example that might come to mind is animal testing. It is considered cheaper to use
animals
for testing
products
than will be used on humans, once eligible. In the past, people believed that
products
tested on
animals
were safer than those tested in a
lab
.
Luckly
Correct your spelling
Luckily
, enormous
progresses
Change the wording
progress
signs of progress
show examples
in technology and biotechnology
in particular
, completely shifted
this
vision.
Unfortunalty
Correct your spelling
Unfortunately
, not every country or brand can afford to build a
lab
for testing their
products
, so oftentimes
animals
are still used for
this
purpose.
Moreover
, animal testing is not seen as a cruel and old-fashioned practice everywhere in the world.
For instance
, it is considered illegal in every EU country
whereas
it is mandatory for
products
that are
ment
Correct your spelling
meant
to be sold in China. Those cultural differences often force brands to choose between an ethical or a more profitable choice. The only form of animal experiment that I find justifiable is for education purposes, but with moderation. I feel it is not mandatory for every student,
for
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
I do not think it is appropriate to force
highschooler
Correct your spelling
high schoolers
show examples
to dissect a living frog.
However
,
dissectin
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dissecting
dissection
an animal is fundamental for biology students who need to deeply understand a living organism. 
Animals
Change the noun form
Animal
show examples
testing has been very helpful in the past;
for instance
, vaccines
where
Correct your spelling
were
show examples
tested on pigs before cell synthesis. In today's
time
Add a comma
time,
show examples
its use is
replaceble
Correct your spelling
replaceable
replaced
by
lab
tests but it is still convenient for educational purposes
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
since it is not quite expensive. We should not forget that
animals
are still living beings with emotions and
ability
Correct article usage
the ability
show examples
to feel pain, so experimenting on them is considered abuse. In conclusion, experimenting on
animals
can be useful for marketing or educational purposes but should be avoided at all costs. It is not fair to abuse
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
defencelss
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defence
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
so brands, countries and
schools
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school
show examples
systems should always opt for a more
ethical
Change the word
ethically
show examples
appropriate approach.
Submitted by rizzi.flavia99 on

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Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure that the essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion that respectively set up the topic and summarize the argument. The introduction and conclusion currently present require more clarity and a firmer stance on the issue.
Supporting Examples
While the essay presents arguments for and against animal experiments, stronger and more specific examples should be included to effectively illustrate points and support the arguments.
Logical Structure
Maintain a clear and logical structure throughout the essay. Paragraphs should be coherent, with one main idea per paragraph that is clearly developed and supported.
Cohesion
Avoid repetition and redundancy to ensure better cohesion between ideas. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs should be smooth and demonstrate clear relationships between ideas.
Task Completion
Fully address all parts of the task by providing a balanced discussion on both sides of the argument and reaching a clear conclusion. While the essay does present arguments, it could do so more comprehensively, with a more decisive conclusion derived from the arguments presented.
Language Usage
Use a range of sentence structures and vocabulary to showcase language proficiency. Some parts of the essay show a tendency towards simpler structures and common vocabulary, which may hinder the score for a higher band.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • controversial
  • prevalence
  • scientific research
  • proponents
  • opponents
  • medical breakthroughs
  • vaccines
  • treatments
  • critical data
  • regulatory frameworks
  • ethical guidelines
  • minimize suffering
  • moral objections
  • animal rights
  • species differences
  • unreliable results
  • alternatives to animal testing
  • in vitro testing
  • computer modeling
  • volunteer microdosing
  • nuanced
  • complexity
  • weighing
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