IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some believe children should be taught to give speeches and presentations in school. Why is this? What other skills do you think it is important to be taught in schools?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is argued that lessons on public speaking and preparing visual aids should be included in academic programmes at school. One of the main reasons is to ensure that
children
Use synonyms
 develop
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
essential
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 to communicate effectively in their future jobs.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, I am of the opinion that skills
such
Linking Words
 as foreign
language
Use synonyms
 or
computer
Use synonyms
 coding
plays
Correct subject-verb agreement
play
show examples
 an equally important role for the same reason and
hence
Linking Words
 should be added to their routine lessons. Being able to give speeches and presentations helps
children
Use synonyms
 become avid communicators in their future
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
. When preparing themselves for a speech, students have to outline many ideas and arrange their thought
process
Fix the agreement mistake
processes
show examples
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, they are required to understand target audiences so that they
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 develop different visual tools to present
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their chosen topic.
As a result
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
 will be equipped with a useful skill set that many companies prefer in their potential job
candidiates
Correct your spelling
candidates
.
For example
Linking Words
,
consulting
Correct article usage
a consulting
show examples
 company like PwC would request business case presentations from applicants and only those who can proficiently discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
those cases get higher chances of being recruited.
Likewise
Linking Words
, I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that mastering other skills
such
Linking Words
 as
computer
Use synonyms
 coding or foreign
language
Use synonyms
open
Wrong verb form
opens
show examples
 many career opportunities for students. Information technology is becoming more and more included in our daily lives and artificial intelligence solutions are booming. If
children
Use synonyms
 learn
computer
Use synonyms
 programming from secondary education
facility
Fix the agreement mistake
facilities
show examples
, they will be more interested in taking up
computer
Use synonyms
 science subjects in universities and graduate with a profession
that is
Linking Words
 in high demand.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,if a person can speak
second
Correct article usage
a second
show examples
language
Use synonyms
, jobs that need
bilingual
Correct article usage
a bilingual
show examples
 person will be a right fit.
For example
Linking Words
, students from the United States who can speak French could get internship placements in the United Nations more
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 those who do not understand the official
language
Use synonyms
 of
such
Linking Words
organisation
Correct article usage
an organisation
show examples
. In conclusion, teaching
children
Use synonyms
 to effectively articulate
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
 ideas through presentations and speeches could prepare them for their future jobs and
Linking Words
likewise
Add a comma
likewise,
show examples
 other skills
such
Linking Words
 as new
language
Use synonyms
 or
computer
Use synonyms
 coding can lead those
childern
Correct your spelling
children
 to have better chances of being hired.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay shows a logical flow of ideas, clearly identifying the thesis in the introduction and reiterating it in the conclusion. Transitions between paragraphs are present, but could be improved to create a more seamless connection.
coherence cohesion
Supporting main points are generally clear and connected to the thesis. Further development of ideas with a wider range of cohesive devices and varied sentence structures could enhance clarity and impact.
task achievement
Your response addresses the question effectively by explaining the importance of teaching public speaking and presenting other key skills in school. To take your task achievement to an even higher level, continue to ensure a balance between all parts of the prompt, so that all aspects of the question are fully answered with equal depth and detail.
task achievement
The ideas presented are comprehensible, though sometimes the relationship between them could be more explicit. Aim to articulate the connections between your points more clearly to guide the reader without effort.
task achievement
Examples used are relevant and specific, underlining the arguments made. There is room to offer more detailed examples or to explore the implications of these more deeply in order to enhance task achievement.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: