IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The plans below show the site of an airport now and how it will look after redevelopment next year. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#plans #show #site #airport #redevelopment #year #summaries #information #features #comparisons
Two maps illustrate the plans of the southwest airport, one of them shows what it looks like at
this
 time,
while
 the other indicates how it will be after developments after a year. In general, the site will be bigger in the future and some features will be added all around it.
According to
 the diagram, the departure and arrival doors are going to be doubled in the future, and there will be a cafe added in the
right
 salon.
Moreover
, a car hire centre and an ATM are going to be built in the
right
 corner of the arrivals hall which is almost empty now. The check-in
part
 will be transferred to the
right
 side of the departure hall where there is a café at
this
 time, and the café is going to be at the left corner next to the entrance. One thing that will be added to the departure section, is a bag drop
part
 that will be on the left side, where the check-in is now placed.
Additionally
, the passport control
part
 will be unchanged.
However
, in the next section, some shops will be added in the
right
 section. But the most noticeable change will be in the northern
part
 of the airport, the walkways are going to be exchanged with sky trains, the area will be extended and a two-way will be built.
Overall
, some facilities will be added and the area will be spacious.
Submitted by Farzaneh Ka on

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task achievement
Task achievement could be improved by ensuring all key features are included. The essay partially addresses the changes, but lacks detail for some of the sections, such as potential changes to parking, public transport access, and the airport's surroundings. Including all major changes and expansions would provide a more complete response to the prompt. To improve, aim to systematically address every change shown in the diagrams, relating it back to the task.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion are satisfactory, but there's room for improvement. The logical structure is somewhat clear, though transitions between different sections of the description could be smoother. Consider deploying a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing more effectively to create distinct sections. This will enhance the readability and flow of your essay. Additionally, ensure the introduction and conclusion are well-defined, succinct, and encapsulate the essence of the content presented.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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