Nowadays university education is very expensive. Some people say that universities should reduce their fees, especially for the less fortunate students or those coming from rural areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Education
is always an important factor in improving
people
's lives quality. Some
people
think that the
government
should
support
the
education
expenses for
population
Add an article
the population
a population
show examples
who desire to study. I completely agree with
this
statement, and in
this
essay, I will discuss the reasons for
this
and provide examples to
support
my viewpoint. Generally speaking, there is a wide range of reasons why
people
believe that the
government
should provide study fees for anyone
can
Correct pronoun usage
who can
show examples
bring a variety of advantages to the students and society.
Firstly
, reduces inequality in
association
Add an article
the association
an association
show examples
.
For instance
, in Germany, the
government
support
the tuition fees for both domestic and international student.
Moreover
, a
further
benefit is that
education
will decrease the poverty rates, crime, and unemployment problems in society. In fact,
people
will receive more opportunities to find a job that relates to their field of study resulting in a reduction of poverty.
Therefore
, highly accessible
education
improves the happiness and well-being of both students and their families in every nation around the world.
In addition
,
Education
improves the
country
.
People
's knowledge.
Therefore
, a
country
which has a highly efficient
population
will raise a positive aspect compared to a
country
in which the
government
does not pay adequate attention to the
education
of the
population
in every aspect.
Education
is very valuable for
people
. In conclusion, there are clear that the benefit of free learning can improve not only the quality of the
population
's lives and reduce society's problems but
also
develop the
country
in a better way. So, the
government
should
support
education
fees for anyone who wants and if their countries have a good
education
, their countries will develop.
Submitted by polash.kahari on

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coherence cohesion
You present a clear argument with an appropriate introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, some areas of the essay lack a strong logical sequence which could improve the flow of information. Consider utilizing a clearer progression of ideas throughout the essay.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task and provides relevant ideas and examples. However, to achieve a higher score, elaborate more on your arguments and provide a balanced discussion on the topic. Include more specific examples to reinforce your points and illustrate the real-world implications of your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessibility
  • lower-income backgrounds
  • social equity
  • student debt
  • financial liabilities
  • workforce
  • regional disparities
  • higher education
  • quality of education
  • university resources
  • government subsidies
  • scholarships
  • across-the-board
  • affordable education
  • economic benefits
  • educated workforce
  • societal challenges
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