IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

New technologies provided machines which replaced workers to do certain physical jobs and tasks. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#technologies #machines #workers #jobs #tasks
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
With the development of the times and the improvement of the economic level, more and more new
technologies
 are invented by humans,
while
 some argue that it would replace workers to do certain physical jobs and tasks. In my point of view, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. First of all, many are used lots of workforces in a factory, so a lot of companies always complain about the costs of workers. If the new
technologies
 can decrease the numbers, the expense will be fewer.
Furthermore
, every worker has to learn many skills to control machines advance, but the auto-equipments do not, that can be more quickly and accurately.
Also
, people just focus on
work
 by brain, the
work
 will be done soon. what is more is that new
technologies
 will give humans more expectations and hope,
for example
, we don't need to drive by ourselves anymore and
work
 will be done when we are sleeping. Lots of people who care about the problem would be fired by factories or companies,
for instance
, more and more auto-machines are replacing humans in classification
work
. the truth is as the need for economic development, it is necessary that the world needs more new
technologies
 that can do jobs more efficiently. Unemployment is inevitable, and
this
 is
also
 the reshuffle brought about by the emergence of new
technologies
.
Above all
, the emergence of new
technologies
 will threaten people's worries about whether they will lose their jobs. Stand in the view of social development, we should learn more skills to face how to use
technologies
 better, to keep our
work
.
Submitted by zhang342621374 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
It is crucial to ensure that your introduction and conclusion are well-defined and clearly state your essay's position regarding the advantages and disadvantages of technological advancements in the workplace.
logical structure
Develop a logical structure that guides the reader through your argument by including clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and using cohesive devices appropriately.
supported main points
Support main points with specific examples and explanations to show the practical implications of your arguments and enhance the persuasiveness of your essay.
complete response
Achieve a complete response by fully addressing all parts of the task, ensuring that you discuss the advantages and disadvantages of technological advancements in a balanced manner.
clear comprehensive ideas
Communicate your ideas clearly and comprehensively by organizing them effectively and using a range of vocabulary and sentence structures to convey precise meaning.
relevant specific examples
Strengthen your argument by incorporating relevant and specific examples that highlight the real-world impact of technological advancements on the workforce.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: