Some people say it is OK to use animals for our benefit, others say it is not good to exploit them. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.

Whilst certain individuals have a perception that there is nothing wrong with the utilization of
animals
, others are concerned about the
animals
being taken advantage of. I firmly hold the view that
although
the innate cooperation between
animals
and
humanity
is utterly important, maintaining
this
engagement under humanitarian conditions should
also
be guaranteed. On the one hand, the first interaction between
animals
and
humans
commenced thousands of years ago. Throughout
this
journey, people accomplished to domesticate many species so they eventually used their products
such
as eggs, milk, meat, and wool to survive and evolve.
Therefore
, it would not be necessarily erroneous to contend the evolution of
humanity
is heavily dependent on the
animals
that we put in use.
For instance
, the natural bond between
animals
and
humans
is so complicated that
humanity
cannot survive without them,
however
,
animals
can flourish without us.
Consequently
, as
humanity
, we must discern new ways of efficient animal utilization methods
while
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
respecting and appreciating their immense contribution to us.
On the other hand
, people who are entitled animal rights defenders have a radical view on the way we make use of those living beings. Based on their values and missions,
humans
should avoid utilizing
animals
, leaving them alone in their own environment. In certain situations, many
animals
had to undergo horrific experiences in laboratories and on farms.
For example
, owing to the sacrifice of countless creations
such
as laboratory mice, rabbits, and monkeys, we now possess advanced technology in the pharmaceutical industry.
Furthermore
, similar conditions could
also
be observed in pig and chicken farms as well
due to
the massive demand in the market.
According to
individual research, the majority of those
animals
will not even see the daylight let alone, outside grassland. In conclusion, despite having some recordings of animal cruelties,
nonetheless
,
humans
cannot even pass a day without the positive effects of these
animals
. Bearing in mind our dependency on
animals
, humane animal exploitation methods should be developed and ensure a more sustainable development.Some people say it is OK to use
animals
for our benefit, others say it is not good to exploit them. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion. 260 words ielts essay
Submitted by orkhanshamil on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure
Ensure your essay has a clear logical structure with distinct paragraphs for the introduction, main body, and conclusion. Ensure the main points are clearly separated and fully developed within their respective paragraphs.
Introduction & Conclusion
Strengthen your introduction and conclusion by clearly presenting the essay's topic and summarizing the main points and your opinion in the conclusion. A more definitive and assertive statement of your opinion would benefit the overall effectiveness of the essay.
Supporting Examples
Support main points with specific examples. While the essay includes some examples, providing more detailed and context-specific instances would enhance the ideas and arguments presented.
Task Response
Fully address all parts of the task. Ensure that your essay discusses both views equally and presents a clear opinion, as the task specifies this as a requirement. Articulate clear, comprehensive ideas with a balance of explanations, discussions, and examples.
Coherence & Cohesion
Link ideas and paragraphs clearly and cohesively using a variety of linking words and cohesive devices. Check for grammatical accuracy in your sentence constructions to maintain coherence.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: