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Band 7

Modern lifestyles are completely different from the way people lived in the past.Some people think changes have been positive by others believe they have been negative.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#lifestyles #people #changes
Today's world is totally different from the past
due to
 advanced technology's penetration into the lives, values and lifestyles of the
people
. But there are different types of schools of thought.
According to
 a class of
people
, these changes in society have a negative impact because of the latest inventions and
people
 are more dependent on them and feel free from the burden of doing things on their own. In the past
people
 were more responsible and dutiful because they had to work with their hands and
this
 made them physically fit .
On the other hand
, many
people
 think that modernisation is the demand of the time and we cannot create any hurdle in different happenings whether we like it or not.
Furthermore
, everyone wishes to live a life where he can avail all the modern facilities of the living styles. they
also
 argue that the modern
lifestyle
 is not only a need of the time but it is
also
 their right to adopt a
lifestyle
according to
 their wishes.
Moreover
, I strongly believe that a modern
lifestyle
 should be adopted if anyone can afford
this
. I think
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 we should change our mindset that advanced technology not only changes our
lifestyle
 but
also
 our thinking of style . we have to move forward and play our role so it cannot be possible without accepting the new things .
Although
 it is not easy to replace old thinking so quickly. We do not have any option but to accept as soon as possible. I conclude my submissions with the statement that
lifestyle
 should be more dependent on your affordability rather than imposed with force.
Submitted by computersinn2007 on

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Sentence Variation
Consider using a more varied sentence structure for clarity and emphasis. Mixing long and short sentences can make your points more impactful.
Specific Examples
Be careful with general statements. Support your opinions with specific examples or facts to strengthen your argument.
Essay Structure
Try to maintain a consistent argumentative structure throughout your essay. Clearly dividing it into paragraphs with one main idea per paragraph will enhance readability.
Linking Words
To improve coherence, make sure that your ideas are not only presented in a logical order but also that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next through the use of transitional words and phrases.
Topic Engagement
You introduced an engaging debate on the impact of modernization, showing a good grasp of the topic.
Effective Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarized your stance, providing a clear perspective to the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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