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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts illustrate the number of people who were affected by four types of noise pollution in day and night in cities and rural areas in 2007.

The charts illustrate the number of people who were affected by four types of noise pollution in day and night in cities and rural areas in 2007.
#people #four #noise #pollution #night #cities #areas
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A glance at
two
Correct article usage
the two
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 bar graphs provided reveals a sharp comparison of the volume of dwellers impacted by 4 categories of noise pollution namely traffic, train, aircraft and industry between
in
Change preposition
apply
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the city and rural areas, measured in
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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, in 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, traffic-related contaminations took up the most remarkable proportions of both charts
in
Change preposition
on
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 all days and
nights
Use synonyms
. In terms of the amount of four pollutants in the metropolis cities, the amount of waste from traffic was the main determinant that contributed to environmental matters
in
Change preposition
on
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 all days and
nights
Use synonyms
 with 64 and 68 respectively.
Where as
Correct your spelling
Whereas
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, that from train and aircraft constituted 10 and 8,
together with
Linking Words
 4 and 1 equivalently. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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stark contrast, there was the most insignificant figure witnessed in the industrial contaminant, to be more specific with 1 in the mornings and 0,25
in
Change preposition
at
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
nights
Fix the agreement mistake
night
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. As for the volume of all types of dusty waste in the suburb, the most alarming proportion was taken up by the amount of pollutants released from traffic with 33 and 24
in
Change preposition
apply
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days and
nights
Use synonyms
 respectively. At the opposite end of the scales, there was no response detecting any emergence of that from industry. Whilst, those of the remaining namely train and
aircraft- related
Correct your spelling
aircraft-related
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 contaminants.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words nights with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
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