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Writing Samples /
Band 2

Some people say that playing computergames is bad for children in every aspect. Ohters say that palying computergames can have positive effects on the way children develop. Discuss both views and give youre opinion.

#people #computergames #children #aspect #ohters #effects #youre
This
 is obvious that playing video
games
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 good and bad effects
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
I think the pros of
children
 playing video
games
 outweigh the cons. Different aspects
are exist
Change the verb form
exist
show examples
 in
this
 article.
Firstly
 ,
children
 are more likely to play computer
games
instead
 of
sending
Correct your spelling
spending
show examples
 time with their friends or families .
This
 may lead to
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
 of problems.
For instance
 , the kids might become
anty-socialized
Correct your spelling
anti-socialised
show examples
 by not being in touch with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other people .
Furthermore
, physical
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 should be considered as well .
Such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
backache,headache and leg problems.
Thus
, we can not deny the side effects of playing video
games
.
However
, there are several reasons why
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think spending time
playin
Correct your spelling
playing
playin'
 computer
games
 can be beneficial for kids and school
children
.
For example
, There are
array
Add an article
an array
show examples
 of different educational
games
 that can be played by younger individuals.
Such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 math
games
, English learning
games
 and so on.
Thus
, There are benefits
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 playing some specific categories of computer
games
.
To conclude
, With the discussion of pros and cons
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 previous paragraphs, I agree with the latter and believe that
this
 could play
important
Add an article
an important
show examples
roll
Correct your spelling
role
show examples
 in
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 development.
Submitted by amirrezadelghandi3 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure clarity and fluency by constructing sentences correctly and using punctuation appropriately.
coherence cohesion
Develop paragraphs with clear main ideas and supporting details to strengthen coherence.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph flows logically to the next, using a range of cohesive devices effectively.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task, ensuring a balanced discussion of both views and providing a clear opinion.
task achievement
Expand on ideas with specific and relevant examples to support your arguments and demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Carefully proofread your writing to correct spelling errors and improve word choice for a more precise expression of ideas.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • addiction
  • physical activity
  • violent content
  • cognitive skills
  • problem-solving
  • strategic thinking
  • hand-eye coordination
  • educational games
  • interactive learning
  • teamwork
  • collaboration
  • communication skills
  • academic performance
  • stress relief
  • mental health
  • parental guidance
  • moderation
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