Some people feel that entertainment (eg film stars, pop musicians and story stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of Jobs should be highly paid.
The issue of exorbitant
salaries
for entertainment
figures, including film stars, pop musicians, and sports stars, is a contentious topic that elicits varied opinions. While
some argue that these individuals are overcompensated for their contributions, others contend that their earnings
are justified. In my view, I partially agree that entertainment
personalities are often paid excessively, but I also
believe that certain other professions warrant higher remuneration.
Those who advocate for the high salaries
of entertainment
personalities argue that their earnings
are commensurate with their talent, market demand, and the revenue they generate for the entertainment
industry. Film stars and musicians, for example
, often have a global fan base and can command high fees for their performances, endorsements, and merchandise sales. Additionally
, their work contributes significantly to the cultural fabric and economy of societies worldwide.
However
, it is undeniable that the disparity between the earnings
of entertainment
figures and essential workers, such
as teachers, healthcare professionals, and public servants, is stark and concerning. These individuals play indispensable roles in society, yet their salaries
often do not reflect the value of their contributions. Teachers, in particular
, mold
the future generation and should be compensated adequately for their dedication and hard work. Change the spelling
mould
Similarly
, healthcare professionals, especially in times of crisis like the COVID-19 pandemic, demonstrate immense courage and sacrifice, deserving of higher recognition and financial compensation.
Moreover
, professions that directly contribute to the well-being and advancement of society, such
as scientists, researchers, and environmentalists, should also
be highly remunerated. Their work drives innovation, addresses pressing global challenges, and fosters sustainable development, making it imperative to incentivize and retain talent in these fields.
In conclusion, while
entertainment
personalities may justify their high salaries
based on market demand and cultural impact, the disparity in earnings
between them and essential workers highlights the need for a reevaluation of societal values and priorities. Other professions, such
as teaching, healthcare, and scientific research, should be highly paid to reflect their indispensable contributions to society's welfare and progress.Submitted by a.bbuttar on
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task achievement
To further enhance task response, include more specific examples illustrating the disparity between entertainment figures' incomes and those of essential workers. Quantitative data or anecdotal evidence could provide stronger support for your argument.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, continue to structure your arguments logically, as done excellently. However, consider using a wider variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly between paragraphs.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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