IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned to prevent potential accidents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #sports #accidents
Some
individuals
 believe that banning hazardous
sports
 would prevent potential injuries. I agree that dangerous
sports
 should have regulations but disagree with a complete ban.Dangerous
sports
 can pose serious
risks
 to participants, especially if
safety
 measures are inadequate or ignored.
However
, banning these
sports
 entirely disregards individual freedom and the positive aspects
such
 as physical fitness, mental resilience, and the thrill of competition that these
sports
 provide.       Dangerous
sports
 can indeed lead to severe injuries or fatalities
due to
 their inherently risky nature.
Activities
 like skydiving, rock climbing, or extreme skiing involve high levels of physical danger, where accidents can result in life-altering consequences. Inadequate training, equipment failure, or unpredictable weather conditions can amplify these
risks
, making accidents more probable.
This
 raises legitimate concerns about public
safety
 and the ethical responsibility to minimize unnecessary
risks
.
For instance
, despite
safety
 protocols, incidents in extreme
sports
 like BASE jumping often end tragically
due to
 the inherent dangers involved.      
Nevertheless
, completely banning dangerous
sports
 overlooks their cultural and personal significance.Many
individuals
 find profound satisfaction and personal growth in these
activities
, which can foster mental toughness, discipline, and camaraderie among participants.Restricting these
activities
 could deprive
individuals
 of valuable experiences that contribute to their physical and psychological well-being. Prohibiting
such
sports
 may lead to underground or unregulated practices, exacerbating
safety
risks
 rather than mitigating them.Countries like Switzerland regulate rather than ban extreme
sports
, maintaining
safety
 standards
while
 preserving the freedom of
individuals
 to engage in challenging
activities
.    In conclusion, I support
safety
 regulations in risky
sports
, but I oppose
outrights
Replace the word
outright
show examples
 banning them. Participants in
Correct your spelling
dangerous
dengerous
Correct your spelling
dangerous
sports
 run a considerable risk, but that risk is reduced with the right
safety
 measures in place
Submitted by mamashukuruvbobur31 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider expanding on your examples to provide more specific and detailed instances that strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs to enhance overall coherence.
general
Review the essay for minor grammatical issues and improve sentence variety.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which aids in the overall coherence.
task achievement
Your main points are logically organized and well-supported throughout the essay.
task achievement
The topic is fully addressed, and your position on the issue is clearly stated and maintained throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: