Fewer young people play sports these days. Why is this? what can be done to encourage more young people to do sports.

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In the contemporary era, there has been a downward tendency in the number of youngsters engaging in

sports

Use synonyms

activities. In my perspective, the main reasons are modernization and many social norms. By solving the mentioned problem, I think that educational institutions could play a pivotal role in stimulating more young people to play

sports

Use synonyms

To begin

Linking Words

with, there are many focal points to explain

this

Linking Words

trend. It is true that the significant development of modernization leads to the growth in the number of new technologies,

such

Linking Words

as smartphones.

This

Linking Words

has created a concern that the plethora of young people have been exposed

these

Change preposition

to these

show examples

equipments since their childhood, because of the lack of family attention that their parents are usually absorbed in their work.

Therefore

Linking Words

, the young could form an entertaining habit that they get addicted to,

such

Linking Words

as video games rather than participating in

sports

Use synonyms

Besides

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, there is a common social norm in many Asian countries

such

Linking Words

as Korea or China that the parents usually orient their children to be white-collar workers, which could be a social model of success.

Thus

Linking Words

, these children tend to spend their childhood in school and more extra classes in their leisure time to make sure that they

could

Wrong verb form

can

show examples

get into top schools or universities and take more opportunities to belong to prosperous citizen groups of societies. Indeed, it is understandable why exercise and

sports

Use synonyms

are a luxury for busy

students

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. To overcome

this

Linking Words

issue, I believe that educational institutions are the key factor.

Firstly

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due to

Linking Words

the majority of

students

Use synonyms

owning personal smartphones, schools should put strict regulation that bans them from the educational environment.

This

Linking Words

could not only enhance

students

Use synonyms

' focus on lessons

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

Linking Words

give them more playtime to join other healthy activities.

Thus

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, it is necessary for the syllabus to create many optional

sports

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classes or

sports

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clubs

such

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as soccer, volleyball or badminton to encourage

students

Use synonyms

to improve their health and social interaction with friends and teachers rather than keeping their eyes glued to smartphones and leading a sedentary lifestyle. In conclusion, the decrease in young people's interest in

sports

Use synonyms

could be explained by modernization tendencies and social bias in many cultures.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it is vital to solve

this

Linking Words

issue through educational institutions

such

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as building learning programs, which have typical

sports

Use synonyms

or clubs.

Submitted by phuonglinhlp.0900 on Sat Dec 09 2023

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task achievement

Ensure that all paragraphs are well-developed and stay on topic, expanding on the main points with examples to fully address the essay prompt.

coherence and cohesion

To strengthen coherence and cohesion, provide clear transitions between ideas and ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Use a variety of cohesive devices and topic sentences effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

384 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary
engagement
incentives
obesity
recreation
well-being
peer pressure
physical fitness
endurance
balance
teamwork
coordination
confidence
self-esteem
discipline
facilities
accessible
affordable
curriculum
extracurricular
inclusion

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Fewer young people play sports these days. Why is this? what can be done to encourage more young people to do sports.

Your opinion

Beside a lot of advantages, some people believe that the Internet creates many problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that art plays a crucial role in society, while others think it is a luxury. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. why might this be the case? Do you think this a positive or a negative situation?

Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?