Some people believe that children should always have activities organized for them in their free time. Others believe that children themselves should choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

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Some people argue that leisure
activities
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for
kids
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should be planned
while
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a group of individuals claim that
activities
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created by
children
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themself are more beneficial for them. The writer of
this
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essay believes that
kids
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should have freedom in terms of choosing
activities
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they do
due to
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a couple of benefits of fostering their creativity and helping them to be more independent. It is vital to understand that by engaging in unprepared games,
kids
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can gain an array of benefits related to cognitive development, especially creativity. To be more specific, participating in
such
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a new activity offers
kids
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a sense of freedom, meaning that these
activities
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provide them opportunities to think and brainstorm, and when
kids
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fail
time
Change preposition
from time
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to time, knowledge and experience are what they gain the most ,
therefore
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sharpening their ability to think more.
As a result
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, there will be a significant improvement in creativity among
kids
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, solidifying the important role of letting
kids
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choose their own
activities
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to do.
On the other hand
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, it is thought that organized
activities
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have a positive effect on protecting
kids
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from harmful
activities
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.
This
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point has credibility as
children
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are creatures of curiosity so they can easily be influenced by bad phenomena
such
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as crime,
therefore
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leading to negative scenarios related to behaviours
as well as
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mortality among adolescents. In that case, planned
activities
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play a role as an effective deterrent to these negative possibilities, protecting
children
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from being involved in them. Even though organised
activities
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save
children
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when it comes to bad phenomenoms, they,
otherwise
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, degrade
kids
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' imagination, not only making them reliant on available choices but
also
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making their knowledge narrower. In
this
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writer's point of view, freedom of choice of
activities
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fosters
further
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growth.
In other words
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, choosing
activities
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to engage in furnishes
kids
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with skills related to self-improvement
such
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as problem-solving and
decision making
Add a hyphen
decision-making
show examples
, which are some essential qualities for them in the long run.
For instance
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, statistics have shown that
kids
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possing
Verb problem
possessing
show examples
the ability to make bold decisions at an early age are more likely to be more successful compared to their passive counterparts. In conclusion,
although
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the benefit of protecting
children
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from being exposed to bad phenomena is considerable, I believe that the beneficial evidence regarding cognitive development and maturity
solidify
Correct subject-verb agreement
solidifies
show examples
the importance of letting
children
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make their own decisions about the
activities
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they engage in.

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task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to substantiate your points and make your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next to maintain a seamless flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly states the two perspectives and presents the writer's own opinion effectively.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views on the topic, fulfilling the task requirements.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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