IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that radio is the best way to get the news while others think that television is better for this purpose.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The importance of
both
Use synonyms
TV
Use synonyms
 and
radio
Use synonyms
 which was always debatable has now become more controversial with many people claiming that
TV
Use synonyms
 is a better source of information
while
Linking Words
 others argue that
radio
Use synonyms
 is the best way for
news
Use synonyms
. I am of the opinion that
both
Use synonyms
 are equally effective and
both
Use synonyms
 have their own advantages, which will be discussed
further
Linking Words
 in
this
Linking Words
 essay,
along with
Linking Words
 a logical conclusion. Analyzing the statement and explaining
further
Linking Words
, the first and foremost reason behind
TV
Use synonyms
 as a good way of
news
Use synonyms
 is that
news
Use synonyms
 on
TV
Use synonyms
 has a very strong effect on the mind because audio-visual clipping is more retainable. Another striking benefit in
this
Linking Words
 regard is that even an uneducated person can
also
Linking Words
 understand the information and make his opinion. Categorically , it cannot be ignored that the main reason behind
this
Linking Words
 is that with the advancement of technology,
TV
Use synonyms
 services are global and 24/7. On the other side,
radio
Use synonyms
 is the oldest version of technology. It is more accessible as the reach is through mobiles, car radios and even the smallest apparatus. Another pivotal aspect is that the clarity is high and no setup or electricity is required.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
radio
Use synonyms
 stations are almost in every city. Nowadays,
news
Use synonyms
 is on air with the help of satellites.
Hence
Linking Words
, it is apparent why many are in favour of radios. In conclusion,
according to
Linking Words
 the arguments aforementioned above, one can reach the conclusion that
both
Use synonyms
 methods of getting
news
Use synonyms
 are equally beneficial.
TV
Use synonyms
 provides advanced graphics
along with
Linking Words
 a piece of
news
Use synonyms
 and, radios are portable
as well as
Linking Words
 easily accessible.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay provides a fair logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion, which is integral for the reader to follow your argument. However, more emphasis on transitional phrases would enhance the flow of the essay between ideas and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
It's important to directly address the essay prompt, which asks for a comparison and a personal opinion on which method is best. Your conclusion seems to indicate you find both methods equal, which doesn't entirely align with the prompt asking for you to pick one over the other. Establish a clearer stance in line with the IELTS task response requirements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: