IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that nurses should not have to pay for their nursing degrees. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is believed that graduating in nursery should be free and
that is
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 the claim that I completely agree with, based on different reasons. It is true that
nurses
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 show a substantial amount of commitment and dedication, which makes their job one of the most invaluable occupations in
society
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. What is more, they inevitably receive a negligible salary relative to the enormous time and effort they dedicate.
Nurses
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 frequently come across plenty of challenges,
such
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 as long, exhausting shifts, staying awake for many nights each month, and trying to remain kind and patient
while
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 being simultaneously careful and aware of the
patients’
Correct your spelling
patient’s
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 medical condition for almost next to nothing.
That is
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 the reason why few
people
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 are encouraged to pursue
this
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 challenging path unless they are truly passionate about nursing. I believe that by making nursing courses free, more
people
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 will be motivated to choose
this
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 career, especially if they are not able to afford the high costs of graduating in
this
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 difficult course.
Moreover
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, it is a sensible investment in public health for governments to train expert, professional
nurses
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 for their
society
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 freely, rather than relying on attracting foreign healthcare workers which often leads to
further
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 issues and expenses.
That is
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, if nursing education becomes free, more Indigenous enthusiastic
people
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 will be encouraged to study
this
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, which will result in a stronger local healthcare workforce that can provide enormous valuable services to the vulnerable population of
society
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 in the future.
Therefore
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, it is a more reasonable strategy for governments to invest in their own
people
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 rather than depending on foreign
nurses
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. The more a country depends on the immigrant workforce, the more likely it is to face economic and social problems,
such
Linking Words
 as decreased job opportunities for local citizens. In conclusion, I firmly believe that offering free nursing education is beneficial for both the government and
society
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.
Nurses
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 should not have to pay for their studies as they are already performing a highly demanding and invaluable service to the community.

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task achievement
Consider providing more examples or data to support your points, such as statistics on nursing shortages or an example of countries that provide free nursing education.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your arguments flow logically. Although your points are clear, linking them more explicitly can enhance the overall coherence of your essay.
structure
Your introduction clearly states your position on the issue and outlines the main reasons, which is a strong start.
content
The essay addresses relevant social issues and discusses the benefits of free nursing education comprehensively, showing good awareness of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Healthcare workforce
  • Pivotal role
  • Demographic shift
  • Nursing shortage
  • Tuition fees
  • Fiscal prudence
  • Public health investment
  • Job satisfaction
  • Attrition rates
  • Personal accountability
  • Education subsidies
  • Taxpayer burden
  • Resource allocation
  • Professional dedication
  • Health policy
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