Many agricultural lands are being converted into commercial centers. How does this affect the environment and the people’s lifestyle? Discuss this situation and provide suggestions to address these issues. Support your answer with specific reasons and examples.
Many areas which are used for agriculture are transformed into commercial
centers
. Change the spelling
centres
This
situation may influence both the environment and the individuals'
lifestyle. I will discuss some considerable consequences of Correct your spelling
individual's
this
circumstance and ı will give some suggestions.
On the one hand, converting into
lots of agricultural lands into commercial centers can cause several problems for the environment. Change preposition
apply
Initially
, the most significant outcome is that declining green area
can lead to desertification and global warming Fix the agreement mistake
areas
due to
the construction of lots of buildings. They provide the balance between natural and various damages from people
. That means that, if they are diminished day by day, people
will not protect the quality of soil and air. That is
why, the governments should take some protection for using this
area randomly, they should ban which agricultural lands that can be selected as identifying fertility are able to convert into different places is
used by Unnecessary verb
apply
mercant
. Take Holland, which took some precautions, Correct your spelling
merchant
merchants
for example
; this
country predicted some negative consequences so that they did not allow unnecessary conversion.
On the other hand
, this
change might cause various challenges in people
's life
. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Firstly
, communities are becoming
to eat less nutritious and less unhealthy because the supply of food can be inadequate. The number of farmers can decline,Verb problem
beginning
furthermore
can disappear during this
period. People
may start to work only in the company. Therefore
, they can try to maintain it like the previous time. They can step into inorder
to Correct your spelling
in order
this
by starting firstly
their life.
To conclude
, this
conversion can cause a lot of negative repercussions on the environment and people
's lives however
there are some acceptable solutions for measuring this
.Submitted by ilknurkaradmn on
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coherence cohesion
You must ensure that the essay maintains a logical structure throughout. The ideas presented in your essay were somewhat disorganized, which made it challenging for the reader to follow your argument. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and make sure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion should clearly present the topic and your overall argument, respectively. Your introduction was vague and did not effectively outline the points you would discuss. The conclusion also failed to provide a clear summary or restatement of your main points. Work on crafting a strong thesis statement and a concluding paragraph that reinforces your essay's key arguments.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph should include clear main points and supporting details. Your essay often included multiple ideas within one paragraph without clear delineation or support. To improve, focus on developing one main point per paragraph and support it with detailed examples or explanations.
task achievement
Your response to the task must fully address all parts of the prompt. You touched on how the conversion impacts the environment and people's lifestyles but did so in a general way. Stronger task response would include deeper analysis and more developed suggestions.
task achievement
Your ideas need to be explained more clearly and comprehensively. The essay presented some ideas but they were not expanded upon sufficiently. For a higher score, ensure that each idea is explained in depth and clearly links back to the question prompt.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your ideas. The examples provided in your response were vague and lacked detail. To enhance your task response score, include precise examples that clearly relate to and support your main points.