IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The charts below show degrees granted in different fields at the National University in the year 1990,2000 and 2010.

3.0 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
The charts below show degrees granted in different fields at the National University in the year 1990,2000 and 2010.
The
illustrates
Replace the word
illustration
show examples
 below indicates degrees granted in different fields at the National University in the years 1990, 2000 and 2010.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 most
students
Use synonyms
 are studying at Computer Science
faculty
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, the overwhelming majority of those granted
students
Use synonyms
 in 2010
studying
Wrong verb form
studied
show examples
 in Computer Science in comparison with
students
Use synonyms
 with another popular
faculty
Use synonyms
 of medicine. The figures were 45 per
cent
Use synonyms
 and
twenty five
Add a hyphen
twenty-five
show examples
 per
cent
Use synonyms
 respectively.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, only 10 per
cent
Use synonyms
 of
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
studying
Wrong verb form
study
show examples
 at the
Use synonyms
faculty
Capitalize word
Faculty
show examples
 of Law,
whereas
Linking Words
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 are three times more medical
students
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, for the medicine
Use synonyms
faculty
Add a comma
faculty,
show examples
 the pattern appears to be slightly different, between 25 and thirty per
cent
Use synonyms
. In 1990 the most
spreaded
Correct your spelling
spread
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 were the humanitarian
faculty
Use synonyms
(45 per
cent
Use synonyms
), but out of
this
Linking Words
 only fifteen
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 were the student of law, which is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
on six of all
students
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, faculty, cent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays:
  • 6
    band

    in some countries, people are hiring a personal fitness trainer rather than playing sports or doing exercise classess what are the reason for this is this a positive or negative develpment

    Private trainers are in higher demand in several countries. Conducting the trainers has more benefit in performing sports or physical exercise as they can likely scan through a diet habit and the abilities of individuals that can perform during the session. I believe that there would be a positive impact from getting a private trainer instead of doing class activities. Nowadays, more and more people build a healthy habit by making time to go to the gym and eating clean. Going to the gym doesn't help a person get into shape; thus, this is where the private instructor gets involved. To be honest, hiring the instructor is costly, but he or she helps to advise on good posture as well as knows various types of exercise that can benefit the targeted body parts. For example, adding extra weight to certain exercises when they believe that their trainee is capable. Moreover, fitness trainers are more likely to give suggestions on the series of meals that are essential for the body during the...
  • 6
    band

    What are your Achievements in 2023 and Revolutions in 2024

    Many things happened in 2023, and there were revolutions in 2024. Last year was a year of surprise and happiness because we bought a new house and gained Canadian citizenship. Firstly, my family was so lucky when we bought a house. We were fortunate because we found a pretty cheap house, but the house is still beautiful, big, and near everything. Our house was near school, the mall, and even downtown, making our transportation faster and taking less time. Secondly, we finally gained Canadian citizenship. My mom studied and worked hard every day for this. She spent time daily improving her English skills for IELTS and working hard to gain some plus points for a better chance of achieving Canadian citizenship. After all the work, she now has Canadian citizenship, and because of that, I became a Canadian citizen, too. To sum up, I bought a new house and became a Canadian citizen, making 2023 the best year in my life until now.
  • 6
    band

    Some people think that online reading materials are better for children. Others argues that traditional paper based resources are better. Discuss and give your opinion.

    There is no denying the fact that reading is a crucial thing to improve the child's mind. However, there is also an argument about what kind of materials are the best for kids, traditional paper or electronic paper. This essay will analyze this topic from both points of view and express my opinion.
  • 6
    band

    It is said that the education system is the most critical factor in the development of a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

    The role of education in national progress has long been a subject of debate among policymakers and scholars. While various factors such as economic stability, political governance, and technological innovation contribute to a country’s advancement, I firmly believe that a robust education system is the cornerstone of sustainable development. This is because education not only cultivates human capital but also fosters social cohesion and drives innovation.
  • 6
    band

    The tendency of news reports in the media to focus more on problems and emergencies rather than on positive developments is harmful to the individuals and the society as a whole. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

    The question of whether the media should focus more on problems has sparked heated debate. Some argue that negative contents are harmful to individuals, while others see that problems and emergencies are worth the public’s attention. My personal idea is the latter should be more emphasized because media can actually provide in-time information for disaster forecasting or prevention. In this essay, I will elaborate more detail and provide my personal opinions.