In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing.  What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

There has recently been an upward trend in many individuals' average
weight
as a result
of unhealthy lifestyles across societies.
While
it could be asserted that
this
is mainly rooted in sedentary occupations and poor dietary habits, there do exist a number of measures that could play a key role in curbing the vexing issue of obesity. A reason why
people
have generally grown overweight and unhealthy is the sedentary nature of modern life. These days, almost everyone either drives or takes public transport to work or school.
As a result
, there has been a serious decline in most
people
’s levels of physical activity, leading them to burn fewer calories, and
consequently
gain
weight
. Another explanation could be poor dietary habits, especially overconsumption of fast food. A pizza,
for instance
, has many high-calorie ingredients
such
as Mozzarella cheese.
This
means that eating many pizzas would definitely have negative effects on blood fat levels contributing to increasing one’s
weight
. To tackle/address the issue of inactivity, there have been several solutions put forth, one of which could be for
people
to raise their daily physical activity,
for example
by walking to work if they live close to their workplaces, jogging in the morning or evening and taking regular exercise at the gym which would lead to burning more calories and losing
weight
. As a
further
step, what governments can do is to launch publicity campaigns against obesity so that
people
are informed of the dangers of a high-calorie diet. As an illustration, posters could be designed that display how diabetes results from obesity and mounted in public areas and vehicles.
This
would definitely encourage many to manage their calorie intake, and follow more strict diets to get back in shape. In the final analysis, the decline in health and fitness
coupled with
the increase in the
weight
of many
people
in various countries, an issue which needs
further
investigation, can be dealt with if the public increase their daily physical activity and are informed of the dangers of adopting high-calorie diets.
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Task Achievement
To further improve your essay, you could provide more statistical data or research evidence to support your claims, particularly in terms of the causes of increased weight and declining health.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to maintain the flow of your argument. This will help the reader follow your points more effortlessly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Including more varied sentence structures and advanced vocabulary can elevate the overall quality of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is well-organized and follows a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Task Achievement
The causes of the issue and the suggested solutions are clearly explained, making the response comprehensive.
Task Achievement
You have provided relevant examples, such as the mention of fast food and exercise routines, which illustrates your points effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary
  • obesity
  • overweight
  • physical activity
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • exercise
  • unhealthy diet
  • fast food
  • urbanization
  • modernization
  • stress
  • awareness
  • education
  • government intervention
  • policies
  • promotion
  • sports
  • fitness programs
  • health education
  • taxation
  • public transportation
  • infrastructure
  • parks
  • recreational spaces
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