Some people believe that it is a good idea that older people continue to work if it is possible for them to do so. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #idea #work

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Some

people

think that senior workers should continue to work if it is possible for them to do so. I totally agree with

this

statement for the following reasons. Continuing working can bring a lot of benefits for older

people

Firstly

, senior workers who keep working can earn money, and

this

is necessary for those who have financial constraints. Some older

people

have insufficient savings and receive insufficient

pension

Fix the agreement mistake

pensions

show examples

therefore

, they continue working to cover living expenses.

Secondly

while

working, older

people

can find their sense of purpose, especially when they complete their tasks, and still create value for their companies,

countries

Correct word choice

and countries

show examples

Moreover

, keeping working is a part of maintaining senior workers’ social circle, and

this

also

good for their mental health, because they may feel more comfortable and happier when they meet their coworkers. Not only that

Add the word(s)

, but

show examples

continuing working

also

brings plenty of benefits for the young generation and the organisation. Because of the long time that older

people

have worked, they gain lots of knowledge and

experiences

Fix the agreement mistake

experience

show examples

therefore

, they can train fresher and junior workers

Change preposition

show examples

their experiences and foster their professional growth.

Additionally

due to

senior workers’ contributions, the organization can become more and more developed.

Moreover

, older

people

can give useful opinions and advice, which is necessary for the development of their companies. In conclusion, I agree that older

people

continue working is a good idea. Keeping working brings a lot of benefits, not only for themselves but

also

for the young generation and their companies,

such

as they can maintain their social circle,

help

Correct word choice

and help

show examples

the organization to train young

people

Submitted by [email protected] on Sat Dec 09 2023

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coherence cohesion

Make sure to vary your sentence structures and use a mix of simple and complex sentences to demonstrate linguistic range.

coherence cohesion

Focus on paragraphing clearly with a single idea per paragraph supported by relevant examples or explanations.

coherence cohesion

Check for subject-verb agreement and other grammatical errors that could impede the clear presentation of your ideas.

task achievement

Remain consistently on topic throughout your essay and ensure each paragraph contributes to your overall position.

task achievement

Provide clear and specific examples to support your main points to add strength to your arguments.

task achievement

Work on the finer nuances such as a varied and precise vocabulary that can add sophistication to your writing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

266 words

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Some people believe that it is a good idea that older people continue to work if it is possible for them to do so. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say that the main environmental issue of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think high school graduates should travel or work for a period of time instead of going directly to study at university.Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both approaches.Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowlegde or experience

In many countries traditional food is being replaced by fast food. Some claim that this has negative effects on both families and societies. Do you agree or disagree?

The animal species are becoming extint due to human activities on land and in sea. What are the reason and solution ?