Some people believe that it is a good idea that older people continue to work if it is possible for them to do so. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #idea #work

Some

people

think that senior workers should continue to work if it is possible for them to do so. I totally agree with

this

statement for the following reasons. Continuing working can bring a lot of benefits for older

people

Firstly

, senior workers who keep working can earn money, and

this

is necessary for those who have financial constraints. Some older

people

have insufficient savings and receive insufficient

pension

Fix the agreement mistake

pensions

show examples

therefore

, they continue working to cover living expenses.

Secondly

while

working, older

people

can find their sense of purpose, especially when they complete their tasks, and still create value for their companies,

countries

Correct word choice

and countries

show examples

Moreover

, keeping working is a part of maintaining senior workers’ social circle, and

this

also

good for their mental health, because they may feel more comfortable and happier when they meet their coworkers. Not only that

Add the word(s)

, but

show examples

continuing working

also

brings plenty of benefits for the young generation and the organisation. Because of the long time that older

people

have worked, they gain lots of knowledge and

experiences

Fix the agreement mistake

experience

show examples

therefore

, they can train fresher and junior workers

Change preposition

show examples

their experiences and foster their professional growth.

Additionally

due to

senior workers’ contributions, the organization can become more and more developed.

Moreover

, older

people

can give useful opinions and advice, which is necessary for the development of their companies. In conclusion, I agree that older

people

continue working is a good idea. Keeping working brings a lot of benefits, not only for themselves but

also

for the young generation and their companies,

such

as they can maintain their social circle,

help

Correct word choice

and help

show examples

the organization to train young

people

Sat Dec 09 2023

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coherence cohesion

Focus on paragraphing clearly with a single idea per paragraph supported by relevant examples or explanations.

coherence cohesion

Check for subject-verb agreement and other grammatical errors that could impede the clear presentation of your ideas.

task achievement

Remain consistently on topic throughout your essay and ensure each paragraph contributes to your overall position.

task achievement

Provide clear and specific examples to support your main points to add strength to your arguments.

task achievement

Work on the finer nuances such as a varied and precise vocabulary that can add sophistication to your writing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

266 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that it is a good idea that older people continue to work if it is possible for them to do so. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

n some countries, owning a home rathen than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this a positive or negative situations?

In many countries more and more young people are leaving schools but unable to find a job. What problem do you think youth unemployment causes for individuals and for societies? What measures should be taken to reduce level of unemployment for youngsters.

Some people think that english will be the only language to be spoken globally. what are the advantages and disadvantages to having one language in the world?

Nowadays more and more older people compete with younger people for the same jobs. What can be the reason for this? What would you suggest as a solution

the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of the advertising but not the real need of whole society in which they sell. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?