In some countries, the number of shootings increase because many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

In certain countries, the shooting has experienced an upward trend, for the number of weapons at
home
has risen. I partially agree with the aforementioned statement because it depends upon the individual, who is keeping the guns at
home
. In
this
esaay
Correct your spelling
essay
, I will illustrate both perspectives and
at the end
will ultimately express my own opinion.
To begin
with, the key reasons behind the increase in guns include personal interest and safety. Majority of males find it amusing to have some kind of weapon at
home
, for they desire to hunt on particular occasions.
Moreover
, it has risen worldwide because of the different malign actors that can cause serious threats to an individual.
For instance
, the majority of the residents of the United States of America wear
this
habit as a sign of social status and pride.
Therefore
, the number of weapons across the globe has gone through an upward trend. On the flip side, Some people assert that having guns at
home
can lead to detrimental situations because of behaviour issues and a lack of tolerance. One with a short temper can get out of control and shoot someone around them.
Furthermore
, a number of considerable individuals suffer from trauma after shooting any living thing, which results in depression and erases the ability to tolerate distinct harsh scenarios. For illustration,
according to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Dawn News, making significant changes in laws regarding keeping arms has caused a serious decline in the amount of shooting across the globe.
Consequently
, encountering
such
a challenge is a need of time to preserve the world from collapsing.
To sum up
, I opine that every
actions
Change to a singular noun
action
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
some repercussions, one should avoid the use of weapons and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not make it a social status. But in some situations like keeping your family safe from dacoits
while
travelling to a particular destination, one can keep a gun to safeguard their family members.
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introduction conclusion present
While the essay presents an introduction and conclusion, the introduction could be more engaging by providing a clearer thesis statement. The conclusion should effectively summarise the main points without introducing new ideas.
logical structure
The logical structure of the essay is somewhat identifiable, but transitions between ideas could be smoother. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea, supported by cohesive devices that guide the reader through the argument.
supported main points
The supporting points provided need to be more developed and specific. Generic statements should be avoided, and each point should be corroborated with concrete examples or evidence.
complete response
The response tends to somewhat address the task, but you need to directly address the extent of your agreement or disagreement with the statement in the task. A more direct answer and relevant examples reflecting real-world scenarios or research studies would strengthen the response.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ideas presented in the essay need to be defined with greater clarity and detail. Aim to delve deeper into each point, providing comprehensive explanations and avoiding surface-level analysis.
relevant specific examples
Relevant and specific examples are crucial for a high score. The examples provided were too general and sometimes not entirely relevant to the prompt. Incorporate detailed and directly pertinent examples to substantiate arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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