In some countries, the number of shootings increase because many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#countries #shootings #people #guns #home #support

In certain countries, the shooting has experienced an upward trend, for the number of weapons at

home

has risen. I partially agree with the aforementioned statement because it depends upon the individual, who is keeping the guns at

home

. In

this

esaay

Correct your spelling

essay

, I will illustrate both perspectives and

at the end

will ultimately express my own opinion.

To begin

with, the key reasons behind the increase in guns include personal interest and safety. Majority of males find it amusing to have some kind of weapon at

home

, for they desire to hunt on particular occasions.

Moreover

, it has risen worldwide because of the different malign actors that can cause serious threats to an individual.

For instance

, the majority of the residents of the United States of America wear

this

habit as a sign of social status and pride.

Therefore

, the number of weapons across the globe has gone through an upward trend. On the flip side, Some people assert that having guns at

home

can lead to detrimental situations because of behaviour issues and a lack of tolerance. One with a short temper can get out of control and shoot someone around them.

Furthermore

, a number of considerable individuals suffer from trauma after shooting any living thing, which results in depression and erases the ability to tolerate distinct harsh scenarios. For illustration,

according to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Dawn News, making significant changes in laws regarding keeping arms has caused a serious decline in the amount of shooting across the globe.

Consequently

, encountering

such

a challenge is a need of time to preserve the world from collapsing.

To sum up

, I opine that every

actions

Change to a singular noun

action

show examples

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

some repercussions, one should avoid the use of weapons and

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

not make it a social status. But in some situations like keeping your family safe from dacoits

while

travelling to a particular destination, one can keep a gun to safeguard their family members.

Submitted by umark5353 on Sat Dec 09 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present

While the essay presents an introduction and conclusion, the introduction could be more engaging by providing a clearer thesis statement. The conclusion should effectively summarise the main points without introducing new ideas.

logical structure

The logical structure of the essay is somewhat identifiable, but transitions between ideas could be smoother. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea, supported by cohesive devices that guide the reader through the argument.

supported main points

The supporting points provided need to be more developed and specific. Generic statements should be avoided, and each point should be corroborated with concrete examples or evidence.

complete response

The response tends to somewhat address the task, but you need to directly address the extent of your agreement or disagreement with the statement in the task. A more direct answer and relevant examples reflecting real-world scenarios or research studies would strengthen the response.

clear comprehensive ideas

Ideas presented in the essay need to be defined with greater clarity and detail. Aim to delve deeper into each point, providing comprehensive explanations and avoiding surface-level analysis.

relevant specific examples

Relevant and specific examples are crucial for a high score. The examples provided were too general and sometimes not entirely relevant to the prompt. Incorporate detailed and directly pertinent examples to substantiate arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

317 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?
Being a home owner or a tenant has always been a controversial issue and the decision definitely depends on personal preferences and the financial situation of the housing market. Many people regard the ownership of their living place as their life priority due to the security it provides. I am of the positive view considering owning a home since it brings about peace of mind.
6.5
band
Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
The earth is the place that we call a green planet and is the home of many types of animals, plants, and humans. That is why every problem makes our planet's environment become worse and worse. So there is nothing that will be strange when we have some debate about environmental problems some people say that the main cause of environmental problems of our time is the loss of particular plants and animals while others argue that there are more important environmental problems. To explain their opinions just follow me in the under paragraph.
7.5
band
Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Over the past decade, monumental technological advancements have become the defining phenomenon on a global scale. Innovations led by scientists, particularly in the Internet and Technology (IT) sector, have given rise to transformative devices such as smartphones. The heightened accessibility of these devices has resulted in their widespread and extended use, a trend observed across various age groups, including children who often find themselves immersed in prolonged smartphone interactions.
5
band
Car ownership has increased so rapidly over past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam'. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?
The number of personal cars has accelerated very fast within the last thirty decades which is observed in many towns.As a result,the world is suffering a problem which is traffic jams.I, personally face this problem in my daily life and I think it is a barrier to developing countries. So,the government should take the necessary steps to handle this heavy traffic.
4.5
band
With a growing population, many people believe that we should focus on producing more GM food. What are the advantages and disadvantages of doing this?
These days, a massive issue is the overpopulation that has an effect in the source of the food, so a group of people think we ought to focus on producing more GM foods. However, they are some benefites of use GM foods, I still believe that these cannot overshadow the drawbacks.

In some countries, the number of shootings increase because many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam'. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?

With a growing population, many people believe that we should focus on producing more GM food. What are the advantages and disadvantages of doing this?