In some countries, the number of shootings increase because many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#countries #shootings #people #guns #home #support

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In certain countries, the shooting has experienced an upward trend, for the number of weapons at

home

Use synonyms

has risen. I partially agree with the aforementioned statement because it depends upon the individual, who is keeping the guns at

home

Use synonyms

. In

this

Linking Words

esaay

Correct your spelling

essay

, I will illustrate both perspectives and

at the end

Linking Words

will ultimately express my own opinion.

To begin

Linking Words

with, the key reasons behind the increase in guns include personal interest and safety. Majority of males find it amusing to have some kind of weapon at

home

Use synonyms

, for they desire to hunt on particular occasions.

Moreover

Linking Words

, it has risen worldwide because of the different malign actors that can cause serious threats to an individual.

For instance

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, the majority of the residents of the United States of America wear

this

Linking Words

habit as a sign of social status and pride.

Therefore

Linking Words

, the number of weapons across the globe has gone through an upward trend. On the flip side, Some people assert that having guns at

home

Use synonyms

can lead to detrimental situations because of behaviour issues and a lack of tolerance. One with a short temper can get out of control and shoot someone around them.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, a number of considerable individuals suffer from trauma after shooting any living thing, which results in depression and erases the ability to tolerate distinct harsh scenarios. For illustration,

according to

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Dawn News, making significant changes in laws regarding keeping arms has caused a serious decline in the amount of shooting across the globe.

Consequently

Linking Words

, encountering

such

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a challenge is a need of time to preserve the world from collapsing.

To sum up

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, I opine that every

actions

Change to a singular noun

action

show examples

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

some repercussions, one should avoid the use of weapons and

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

not make it a social status. But in some situations like keeping your family safe from dacoits

while

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travelling to a particular destination, one can keep a gun to safeguard their family members.

Submitted by umark5353 on Sat Dec 09 2023

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introduction conclusion present

While the essay presents an introduction and conclusion, the introduction could be more engaging by providing a clearer thesis statement. The conclusion should effectively summarise the main points without introducing new ideas.

logical structure

The logical structure of the essay is somewhat identifiable, but transitions between ideas could be smoother. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea, supported by cohesive devices that guide the reader through the argument.

supported main points

The supporting points provided need to be more developed and specific. Generic statements should be avoided, and each point should be corroborated with concrete examples or evidence.

complete response

The response tends to somewhat address the task, but you need to directly address the extent of your agreement or disagreement with the statement in the task. A more direct answer and relevant examples reflecting real-world scenarios or research studies would strengthen the response.

clear comprehensive ideas

Ideas presented in the essay need to be defined with greater clarity and detail. Aim to delve deeper into each point, providing comprehensive explanations and avoiding surface-level analysis.

relevant specific examples

Relevant and specific examples are crucial for a high score. The examples provided were too general and sometimes not entirely relevant to the prompt. Incorporate detailed and directly pertinent examples to substantiate arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

317 words

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In some countries, the number of shootings increase because many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many countries nowadays, consumer can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

There is a controversial perspective heating up a debate about whether people have the right to attend college so the governor should cover the tuition waiving. Meanwhile, from in my point of view, I do not consider myself an advocate of this idea.

Some people think the Olympic Games is an exciting event which can bring nations together. Other people think Olympic Games is a way for people to waste money that could be used for other events. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Write about the following topic : For many , shopping malls are great places to spend their leisure time and meet others . People , however, in the past mostly visited shopping malls when necessary . To what extent do you think this is a negative trend?