Some people believe that teenager should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time . This can benefit teenagers and the community as well . To what extent do you agree or disagree
There are different opportunities
that
designated as a Correct pronoun usage
apply
volunteer
Use synonyms
position
to build a Fix the agreement mistake
positions
society
by using the young population and some people have proposed that It is a good way to empower Use synonyms
society
without a huge amount of expenses to pay to workers , Use synonyms
however
, it seems they don't want to see the harmful aspects in a long Linking Words
time
,because, teenagers must familiar with the cost of living and economical life as a human ,so, I disagree with the Use synonyms
volunteer
working for our young part of the Use synonyms
society
, because , it would growth unawareness of economical issues in their mind ,so ,I will explain in following sentences .
In a beginning, benefits of Use synonyms
volunteer
working are limited to companies and big instituitions that want to grow inn speed and cheep way ,Use synonyms
in addition
, if these positions have a good designation in higher level of professionist in governments ,it has a huge effect to reduve national budjet for services in community like repairing jobs, health_care services and education ,Linking Words
however
, quality have sacrified indteat of quantity to accessibility all layers of population to have a free labour ,and Linking Words
this
theory is more famous in Europe and England during early of 1900 ,Linking Words
however
, the long outcome of these methods is reached to revolution like we saw in France, so , Linking Words
volunteer
jobs might helpful for short Use synonyms
time
situation nor in a long Use synonyms
time
,because, economic principals to manage cost of living as a family ,ust teach to youngesters and unpaid job would give them false confident to handle difficult situation and they have not act as a eminent person in their future life for their family and Use synonyms
society
,Use synonyms
likewise
, even in less amount of money we must use of teenagers for doing in workplace that they got awarness of importance of money in living in the world ,Linking Words
in addition
of , our children in their spare of Linking Words
time
can do excersise , dancing or learning a new skill in related their weaknesses on academic schedule in a school ,and can spend Use synonyms
time
with their friend and family ,go to traveling and many activities that sould shape their critical mind and creativity in same Use synonyms
time
,because, leasure Use synonyms
time
of teenagers is limited to hours outside of their academic life and it must organize in related their abilitis to cope with their education,if , we assume they must learn working in a community it must consider economic isuues not only learning a social communication and values of generousity and kindness to pay the needs of community by their Use synonyms
time
and their flexibilities to react with other part of our population .
In conclusion , Use synonyms
this
idea of unpaid jobs is harmful for Linking Words
Add an article
the flourishment
flourishment
economic mind of young people and reduce their ability to solve problems that would arise in future regarding economic status .Correct your spelling
flourishing
Submitted by h.ebrahimi66 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay structure is disjointed, with the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion not clearly defined. Aim to have a clear introduction stating your opinion, two to three body paragraphs each with a main idea and supporting details, and a summarizing conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Many sentences in your essay are unclear and difficult to follow, which disrupts the flow of your argument. Work on sentence structure, punctuation, and logical connectors to improve clarity and coherency.
Task Achievement
Though you have expressed a clear stance in disagreement, you must ensure that your essay response addresses the entire prompt directly. This includes stating the opposing viewpoint and your reasons for disagreement, supported by specific examples.
Task Achievement
The ideas you have presented are relevant to the topic; however, they lack development and comprehensive explanation. Enhance the clarity of your ideas by elaborating on them with concrete examples and more thorough explanations.
Overall Language Ability
Use more precise and varied vocabulary to express your ideas. Be cautious with spelling and grammar to avoid inaccuracies that can detract from the clarity of your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.