IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#uk #time #year #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The table illustrates how the UK unemployed allocated their
time
Use synonyms
 for what they doing
according to
Linking Words
 both gender and different
time
Use synonyms
 intervals which were morning and
afternoon
Use synonyms
 in 1982.
Overall
Linking Words
, whilst the women spend the vast majority of their
time
Use synonyms
 on housework both morning and
afternoon
Use synonyms
, the men used to job hunting in the morning and
then
Linking Words
 their
afternoon
Use synonyms
 watching TV. The major categories which took
men's
Change preposition
up men's
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 in the morning were job hunting, shopping and housework
turn
Verb problem
which was
show examples
 22%, 20% and 19%
nonetheless
Linking Words
, they preferred to watch TV
Change preposition
by
show examples
14% and
handled
Verb problem
went
show examples
 to
garden
Correct article usage
the garden
show examples
 with 13% in the
afternoon
Use synonyms
. Visiting town, playing sports and drinking were not popular preferences for men not only in the morning but
also
Linking Words
 in the
afternoon
Use synonyms
 categories.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the women allowed their
time
Use synonyms
 for housework with a considerable percentage of 49% and 21%. The second popular tendency among the women was shopping with 26% in the morning and following hours,
in addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, they visited their friends and relatives. They generally did not create
time
Use synonyms
 for gardening or playing sports in the morning.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in the
afternoon
Use synonyms
, the percentage of staying in bed and playing
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 was 0%.
Submitted by ilknurkaradmn on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, afternoon with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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