It is suggested that primary children should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? You should write at least 250 words.

#children #vegetables #animals

It is much true that, schools

fucus

Correct your spelling

focus

show examples

on improving skills and hopes like anything in all

way

Fix the agreement mistake

ways

show examples

. Farming and dealing with

animals

is an example of these activities that

changes

Change the verb form

change

show examples

the atmosphere of the class .

Therefore

, a fair amount of people believe that it is too early for

children

to learn it. I would like to express the pros and cons of teaching

children

farming and

animals

Fix the agreement mistake

animal

show examples

care in different ways. To embark on to the advantages, nowadays the range of intelligence of

children

depends on how many skills you have and the more

productivity

Replace the word

productive

show examples

person you are.

According to

the previous thoughts, farming and dealing with

animals

improve more skills with

toddler

Fix the agreement mistake

toddlers

show examples

like; clearness, courage and

having

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

responsibility.

Moreover

, the

children

will respect the people around them who

works

Change the verb form

work

show examples

those kind

Change the determiner

that kind

those kinds

show examples

of jobs. They immediately will appreciate hard

working

Replace the word

work

show examples

. The possible drawback, undoubtedly, some

animals

become violent,

the

Correct word choice

and the

show examples

child can not

behaves

Change the verb form

behave

show examples

well in

these kind

Change the determiner

this kind

these kinds

show examples

of situations. Add to that, many types of plants can be dangerous and

injured

Wrong verb form

injure

show examples

children

Fore

Correct your spelling

For

show examples

instance, lemons

Correct your spelling

and

show examples

flowers.

Last

but not least,

children

are not

older

Replace the word

old

show examples

enough to take care of responsibilities. In conclusion, applying a lesson for farming and dealing with

animals

has some drawbacks, but the benefits

Change the verb form

are

show examples

more powerful. Ultimately, the answer to whether the pros outweigh the cons will depend on the individual’s preference.

Submitted by fatmaalhamadani1994 on Sat Dec 09 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay addresses the topic but lacks a clear logical structure, making it difficult to follow the line of argument. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea with supporting details. Introduction and conclusion are present but need to be clearer and more directly answer the question. Aim for a more organized structure with clear topic sentences that relate to the thesis statement.

task achievement

Your response touches on the task but fails to fully develop a clear position throughout the response. The inclusion of specific, relevant examples is weak, diminishing the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas. Work on providing a more complete response by clearly stating your position, and support it with detailed examples and explanations.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

228 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

sustainable practices
cultural literacy
hands-on experience
nutritional awareness
curriculum integration
time management
resource allocation
school gardening projects
animal husbandry
ecosystem education
dietary habits
work ethic

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It is suggested that primary children should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? You should write at least 250 words.

Fully explain your ideas

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What are the reasons behind this trend? What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation?

modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduced amount of time people spend seeing their friends this has had a negative effect on their social lives. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that newspaper are the best way to learn about the news. However, others believe that they can learn the news more effectively through other media. Discuss both these news and give your own opinion.