IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

It is suggested that primary children should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? You should write at least 250 words.

#children #vegetables #animals
It is much true that, schools
fucus
Correct your spelling
focus
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 on improving skills and hopes like anything in all
way
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ways
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. Farming and dealing with
animals
 is an example of these activities that
changes
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change
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 the atmosphere of the class .
Therefore
, a fair amount of people believe that it is too early for
children
 to learn it. I would like to express the pros and cons of teaching
children
 farming and
animals
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animal
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 care in different ways. To embark on to the advantages, nowadays the range of intelligence of
children
 depends on how many skills you have and the more
productivity
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productive
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 person you are.
According to
 the previous thoughts, farming and dealing with
animals
 improve more skills with
toddler
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toddlers
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 like; clearness, courage and
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
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responsibility.
Moreover
, the
children
 will respect the people around them who
works
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work
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those kind
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that kind
those kinds
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 of jobs. They immediately will appreciate hard
working
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work
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. The possible drawback, undoubtedly, some
animals
 become violent,
the
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and the
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 child can not
behaves
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behave
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 well in
these kind
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this kind
these kinds
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 of situations. Add to that, many types of plants can be dangerous and
injured
Wrong verb form
injure
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children
.
Fore
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For
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 instance, lemons
an
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and
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 flowers.
Last
 but not least,
children
 are not
older
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old
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 enough to take care of responsibilities. In conclusion, applying a lesson for farming and dealing with
animals
 has some drawbacks, but the benefits
is
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are
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 more powerful. Ultimately, the answer to whether the pros outweigh the cons will depend on the individual’s preference.
Submitted by fatmaalhamadani1994 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay addresses the topic but lacks a clear logical structure, making it difficult to follow the line of argument. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea with supporting details. Introduction and conclusion are present but need to be clearer and more directly answer the question. Aim for a more organized structure with clear topic sentences that relate to the thesis statement.
task achievement
Your response touches on the task but fails to fully develop a clear position throughout the response. The inclusion of specific, relevant examples is weak, diminishing the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas. Work on providing a more complete response by clearly stating your position, and support it with detailed examples and explanations.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable practices
  • cultural literacy
  • hands-on experience
  • nutritional awareness
  • curriculum integration
  • time management
  • resource allocation
  • school gardening projects
  • animal husbandry
  • ecosystem education
  • dietary habits
  • work ethic
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