Many developed countries now have large numbers of people over the age of 65 What problem might this cause? How can the problem be solved?

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In the modern world, a variety of developed countries nowadays have a significant number of

people

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over the age of 65. Old

people

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might cause some

problems

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such

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as a lack of public transportation and nursing

homes

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. I reckon that elderly

people

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need lots of help

due to

Linking Words

their physical and mental states.

To begin

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with, all around the world, public transportation is developing day by day. Elderly

people

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cannot drive cars, so they need to go somewhere by using public transportation. When they need to use buses, trains, or taxis, especially trains and buses, they ought not to pay any money so they can easily go wherever they want.

However

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, they use

this

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opportunity and spend all day on public transport, so there is no place for teenagers.

For example

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, when youngsters return from school, they have to stand up because there are no sitting places left for them.

Secondly

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, old

people

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need several kinds of help; they cannot live alone since

people

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over the age of 65 don’t want to feel alone and always want someone to live with them.

For instance

Linking Words

, these days, all grandmothers and fathers stay in nursing

homes

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because they need someone who cares for their physical health, so in their

last

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episodes, they want to feel the attention.

Furthermore

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according to

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one of the articles that I read, in the world, there are a large number of elderly

people

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who want to stay and live in nursing

homes

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, so all countries need at least 500 nursing

homes

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Besides

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people

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over the age of 55 want to go there, but

for

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this

Linking Words

reason, nursing

homes

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are filling up. In conclusion, I agree that old

people

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might cause some

problems

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;

however

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, if the government solves these

problems

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and does special things for them, the

problems

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will be solved.

haticecozaSat Dec 09 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay lacks a clear and logical progression of ideas. Consider structuring paragraphs with topic sentences followed by supporting details and a concluding sentence.

coherence cohesion

Use a range of cohesive devices and paragraphing appropriately. Avoid overuse, which can lead to confusion.

coherence cohesion

Ensure the introduction clearly presents the topic and your position, while the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates your position.

task achievement

Address all parts of the task sufficiently. Expand on the main ideas with clear and relevant examples to fulfill the requirements of the prompt.

task achievement

Develop your ideas fully to make them comprehensive. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea and explore it in detail.

task achievement

Include specific examples that are relevant to the prompt to strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

303 words

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Many developed countries now have large numbers of people over the age of 65 What problem might this cause? How can the problem be solved?

Your opinion

Stress related illnesses are becoming increasingly common. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Nowadays plastic money replacements such as credit and debit cards are extremely popular, even more than banknotes and coins. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary schools. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

You have bought some clothing online and are not satisfied with your purchase. Write an email to the company that you bought the clothing from. In your email, give details of the purchase describe the problem explain why you need a replacement urgently

An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why do people have operations to change the way they look? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?