When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In the developed world, some people think that one of the most crucial things is
salary
in going for a
job
while
others argue that
money
does not play a potential role in choosing a
job
in an emergency. I completely agree with
this
statement because, if your degree of qualifications is higher than others, they have to pay the
money
which you want. Naturally, in today's looking for and entering a lucrative
job
is challenging and struggling. It is worth noting that getting in touch with
money
can impact the negative communication skills of humanity. Notably, it is common knowledge in social life that for working need to be well-paid and in the highest quality environment, which depends on your co-workers and colleagues.
This
is exemplified by, if they encourage and award in the unsatisfying day,
whereas
it is clear that
you are working in pleasant surroundings.
On the other hand
,
firstly
, the number of difficult tasks only depends on
salary
, because at present taxes are organized by governments and it is our duty to pay for them.
Therefore
, fast-paced
job
market quality workers request a fundamental
salary
for paying taxes.
In other words
, by giving substantial
money
to their own staff, they are keeping them in work position and by
this
, they have been causing to enhancing
job
satisfaction and qualifications.
For example
, for many factories, it is difficult situation find skilful workers to perform brilliantly. In conclusion, if the best
salary
is not being paid and it is not adequate for request,
this
environment will lead to a strike by the majority of employees.
Furthermore
, in case workers are award with travelling somewhere or taking a relax somewhere by the boss, they will be careful in their profession
Submitted by yoqubjonovjamshidbek23 on

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structure
Try to structure your essay more clearly by having distinct paragraphs for introduction, each main body paragraph discussing a separate idea, and a clear conclusion summarizing your viewpoint. This will greatly enhance the readability and structural flow of your essay.
cohesion
For a higher coherence score, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within the paragraph closely relate to that main idea. Use linking words effectively to show the connection between ideas.
content
To improve in task achievement, make sure that your essay directly answers the question and that your viewpoint is clear throughout the essay. Provide more detailed examples and explanations to support your points.
grammar
Revisit grammar and punctuation rules to reduce errors and increase the clarity of your writing. Avoid overly complex sentences if they compromise clarity.
viewpoint clarity
You effectively communicated your general viewpoint on the importance of salary when choosing a job.
examples
You made an attempt to provide examples to support your arguments, which is good practice for illustrating your points.
conclusion
Your conclusion succinctly restated your viewpoint, showing an understanding of essay structure.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consideration
  • sole factor
  • financial stability
  • security
  • motivating factor
  • dissatisfaction
  • demotivation
  • job satisfaction
  • overall well-being
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • flexible working hours
  • vacations
  • career growth opportunities
  • skill development
  • advancement
  • determining factor
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