You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

Success
can have different
meaning
Fix the agreement mistake
meanings
show examples
for different
people
ranging from being rich,
having
Correct word choice
and having
show examples
a good relationship to
be
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
successfull
Correct your spelling
successful
in
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
or education.There are some ways in which
people
can achieve
success
but a large group of
people
prefer to gain it through occupational and educational opportunities,
so
Correct word choice
and so
show examples
do I. On the one hand,a wide variety of
people
,including me, are keen on achieving
success
through occupation and education.They know these factors are valued and
appriciated
Correct your spelling
appreciated
by the modern economy.
That is
, those who are
well_educated
Correct your spelling
well-educated
and professional in their jobs are in higher positions ,
as a
result
Add the comma(s)
result,
show examples
they are financially
secured
Replace the word
secure
show examples
and can have a higher
standars
Correct your spelling
standard
standards
of living.Take recreational activities as a good example,the more money you have the more amenities you can use.
In addition
,being successful
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
education and
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
brings more respect among
people
.To put it differently,ordinary
people
place a high value on individuals who are educated and have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
.
on the other hand
,
success
comes with different
meaning
Fix the agreement mistake
meanings
show examples
for some
people
.For
exampel
Correct your spelling
example
,having a good personal life,earning
much
Correct quantifier usage
a lot of
show examples
money ,
high
Correct word choice
and high
show examples
self confidance
Correct your spelling
self-confidence
all can mean
success
for these
people
.Some bodies consider themselves successful if they have a good partner.
That is
,there is no point in some other aspect of life for
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
of
people
,or they place a
hich
Correct your spelling
high
value on
self esteem
Add a hyphen
self-esteem
show examples
or earning
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
big bucks.They may ignore other
meaning
Fix the agreement mistake
meanings
show examples
of
success
. In conclusion,
Correct your spelling
Although
Althogh
Correct your spelling
although
different meanings cross
people
"
s
Correct your spelling
's
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
when it comes to
success
,a way to achieve
success
for thousands of other
people
is through either
literracy
Correct your spelling
literacy
or career
Submitted by zahra.hmt88 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and your view on success.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices and paragraphing effectively but avoid overusing them; ensure they contribute to the coherence of the essay.
Task Response
Expand on your main points with more detailed examples to strengthen your arguments.
Language and Accuracy
Check your essay for typographical errors, such as missing spaces, and correct them before submission.
Tone and Register
Avoid using informal language such as 'big bucks' in an academic essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on the logical flow of your essay by ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: