You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #people #success #career #education

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Success

can have different

meaning

Fix the agreement mistake

meanings

show examples

for different

people

ranging from being rich,

having

Correct word choice

and having

show examples

a good relationship to

Wrong verb form

being

show examples

successfull

Correct your spelling

successful

job

Correct article usage

a job

show examples

or education.There are some ways in which

people

can achieve

success

but a large group of

people

prefer to gain it through occupational and educational opportunities,

Correct word choice

and so

show examples

do I. On the one hand,a wide variety of

people

,including me, are keen on achieving

success

through occupation and education.They know these factors are valued and

appriciated

Correct your spelling

appreciated

by the modern economy.

That is

, those who are

well_educated

Correct your spelling

well-educated

and professional in their jobs are in higher positions ,

as a

result

Add the comma(s)

result,

show examples

they are financially

secured

Replace the word

secure

show examples

and can have a higher

standars

Correct your spelling

standard

standards

of living.Take recreational activities as a good example,the more money you have the more amenities you can use.

In addition

,being successful

Change preposition

through

show examples

education and

job

Correct article usage

a job

show examples

brings more respect among

people

.To put it differently,ordinary

people

place a high value on individuals who are educated and have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

on the other hand

success

comes with different

meaning

Fix the agreement mistake

meanings

show examples

for some

people

.For

exampel

Correct your spelling

example

,having a good personal life,earning

much

Correct quantifier usage

a lot of

show examples

money ,

high

Correct word choice

and high

show examples

self confidance

Correct your spelling

self-confidence

all can mean

success

for these

people

.Some bodies consider themselves successful if they have a good partner.

That is

,there is no point in some other aspect of life for

these kind

Change the determiner

this kind

these kinds

show examples

people

,or they place a

hich

Correct your spelling

high

value on

self esteem

Add a hyphen

self-esteem

show examples

or earning

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

big bucks.They may ignore other

meaning

Fix the agreement mistake

meanings

show examples

success

. In conclusion,

Correct your spelling

Although

Althogh

Correct your spelling

although

different meanings cross

people

Correct your spelling

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

when it comes to

success

,a way to achieve

success

for thousands of other

people

is through either

literracy

Correct your spelling

literacy

or career

Submitted by zahra.hmt88 on Sat Dec 09 2023

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Introduction

Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and your view on success.

Coherence & Cohesion

Use a range of cohesive devices and paragraphing effectively but avoid overusing them; ensure they contribute to the coherence of the essay.

Task Response

Expand on your main points with more detailed examples to strengthen your arguments.

Language and Accuracy

Check your essay for typographical errors, such as missing spaces, and correct them before submission.

Tone and Register

Avoid using informal language such as 'big bucks' in an academic essay.

Coherence & Cohesion

Work on the logical flow of your essay by ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

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