Many people are now opting to provide technology companies with their personal data in exchange for access to software. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

These days many individuals are choosing to give
tech
companies
their personal information to gain access to
software
.
Although
using
this
software
makes people’s
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
easier, I believe that the benefits do not outweigh the drawbacks because
companies
are able to constantly influence consumers’ choices. The main advantage of sharing your private data with
tech
companies
is that the
software
they provide you makes your life simpler.
This
is because
this
software
offers users personalized help in their daily matters so that they can avoid wasting time and energy doing things that they can easily do with the aid of technology.
For example
, Google Drive offers you a free cloud-based storage where all your documents and pictures are automatically saved and you can access them from any device at any time, without worrying about saving them on a pen drive that you might lose.
However
, I believe that
this
argument is weaker because people should prioritize their privacy. One of the disadvantages is that once they have access to your data,
tech
corporations can use them to control your choices at all times.
This
is to say that
tech
companies
harvest the data you agreed to share with them, and through an in-depth analysis performed by artificial intelligence and through complex algorithms, they create profiles based on your interests, likes and dislikes. These profiles are
then
sold to third-party
companies
for advertising purposes.
For example
, Google records all your
google
Capitalize word
Google
show examples
searches and all the videos you watch on YouTube and
then
decides what type of advertisement you would be more susceptible to.
This
targeted marketing has proven extremely successful. I believe
this
argument is stronger because people are deceived
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
these
companies
to generate revenues. In conclusion,
although
providing confidential information to
tech
firms in order to use
software
simplifies your life, I believe that being continuously influenced in your decisions is a major drawback. For these reasons, I think that the negatives far outweigh the positives.
Submitted by katiakardash07 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each part of the essay should serve a specific purpose with the introduction setting the topic, body paragraphs expounding on your main points, and the conclusion summarizing your standpoint.
cohesion
Develop and link ideas clearly and logically. Paragraphs should flow smoothly with clear connections between them. Use a variety of cohesive devices appropriately without over-using them.
support
Elaborate on your main points with supporting details and specific examples. This adds depth to your essay and demonstrates an ability to think critically about the subject.
task response
Address all parts of the task. Make sure you fully answer the question and develop your response with relevant points. Always bring the discussion back to the question to stay focused on the task.
conclusion
The conclusion should be consistent with the argument presented in the essay and should encapsulate your viewpoint effectively.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: