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Band 2.5

Percentage of Population Aged 65 and Over in Three Countries (1900-2000) Year Australia Belgium Costa Rica 1990 5% 8% 3% 1950 7% 10% 4% 2000 15% 18% 12% Write at least 150 words.

#percentage #population #three #countries #year #australia #belgium #costa #rica
From the
Change preposition
The
show examples
 table above shows
how
Rephrase
apply
show examples
the
populations
 aged 65 and over in three
countries
 which are
Australia
,
Belgium
, and
Costa
Rica
since
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1900-
2000
Change preposition
to 2000
show examples
. The table shows the
populations
Fix the agreement mistake
population
show examples
 aged 65
decline
Wrong verb form
declined
show examples
 from 1950 to 1990, but there
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 exponential
grow
Replace the word
growth
show examples
 from 1990-2000. In 1950, there were more people living in
Belgium
 than
Australia
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in Australia
show examples
 and
Costa
Rica
. The number of
Belgium
 percentage
populations
Fix the agreement mistake
population
show examples
 was 10%,
while
Australia
 and
Costa
Rica
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 7% and 4%. Between 1950 and 1990, all
countries
 had
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
declined
2
Change preposition
by 2
show examples
%
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Belgium
 and
Australia
, but
Costa
Rica
 declined
just
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by just
show examples
 1%.
Then
, between 1900 and 2000, all
countries
 had been growth
over
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of over
show examples
 10% percentage
population
. The highest percentage of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 is
Belgium
 with 18% followed by
Australia
 15% and
Costa
Rica
 12%.
According to
 the table, the growth
population
 aged 65 in
Belgium
 and
Australia
 was
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 over the same period
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
between 1950 - 2000. Some reason probably that the country
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 already
address
Change the verb form
addressed
show examples
 issues
such
 as healthcare provision, pension systems, social support structures,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
etc. So several strategies that
countries
 to manage the growth of elderly
populations
. One of many reasons is strengthening healthcare infrastructure to meet the specific needs of
an elderly
Correct the article-noun agreement
elderly populations
an elderly population
show examples
populations
, including medical facilities, care
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
, and home healthcare services. Measure to enhance the
overall
 well-being of
Add an article
the elder
an elder
show examples
elder
Replace the word
elderly
show examples
population
.
Submitted by 2024successielts on

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Introduction & Conclusion
Be sure to provide a clear introduction that sets the context for the data presented and a conclusion that summarises the main trends and implications without introducing new data.
Paragraphing & Linking
Organize your essay with clear paragraphs, each focusing on specific points or comparisons across the three countries. Use appropriate linking words to demonstrate logical connections between ideas.
Task Response & Examples
Present a more detailed analysis of the data by comparing the changes over time for each country and explaining possible reasons with hypothetical or real examples to support the main points in your analysis.
Coherence & Cohesion
Improve coherence by ensuring that the text is logically organized and that the relationships between sentences and paragraphs are clear. The use of cohesive devices should be accurate and not repetitive.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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