IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Discuss the implications of the growing influence of artificial intelligence on the education system in 2023. Consider the potential advantages and disadvantages, and provide examples or evidence to support your points.

#implications #influence #intelligence #education #system #evidence #support #points
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The impact of the increasing influence of artificial intelligence (AI) on the
educations
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education
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 system in 2023. The rapid
evolvement
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evolution
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 of
advance
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advanced
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 technology has been
a
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apply
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primarily driven
in
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by
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 the growing influence of AI
our
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on our
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 social culture, including
education
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. In my opinion, AI will contribute positively
on
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to
show examples
education
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 in 2023, if we
use
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 it
with
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in
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 the
right
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 way. Artificial intelligence or so we
called
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call
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 AI has been the talk
for
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of
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people
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in
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for
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 several years.
This
Linking Words
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newly
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new
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newly
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evolve
Wrong verb form
evolved
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 technology creates
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apply
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a
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apply
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confusion in society. It has raised a lot of
question
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questions
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 like
will
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whether will
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 it improve our social
live
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lives
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 or give us a
dooms
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doom
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 day like the science-fiction movie in
hollywood
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Hollywood
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. In
this
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 passage, the writers
would
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will
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 explain
about
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apply
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how
the
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apply
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AI will influence the
eduction
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education
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 sector in 2023. I think
,
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apply
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 AI has a lot of
advantage
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advantages
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 that will help
people
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 in their
education
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.
For
Linking Words
example
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example,
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 it will help
people
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to
Verb problem
apply
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get more access,
the
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and the
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 learning process
would
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will
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 be
easire
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easier
 and more enjoyable. As we might already know, one of the
problem
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problems
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 in our
education
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 is sometimes the student doesn't want to learn because the process of learning is
to
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too
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 boring or it is difficult and hard to understand. With AI
this
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 problem could
be solve
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be solved
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becaue
Correct your spelling
because
 with AI we can customize the framework of learning to each student.
However
Linking Words
, AI has its own merits, like
concern
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the concern
a concern
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of
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for
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 data privacy and security, and its impact
to
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on
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children
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children's
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 mental. Our critical task is to
use
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 it with the
right
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 balance because
at the end
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 of the
day
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day,
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 AI only is a tool that could be
benefit
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beneficial
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 if
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use
Wrong verb form
used
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 by
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right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
people
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 and
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right
Add an article
the right
show examples
 process.
Therefor
Correct your spelling
Therefore
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,
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
 AI comes with a great advantage to help
education
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 in 2023, we need to make sure that
this
Linking Words
 AI will
be
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be used
be using
show examples
use
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 with the
right
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 balance so it'll improve our social
live
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life
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especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
sectors
Fix the agreement mistake
sector
show examples
.
Submitted by 2024successielts on

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task response
You need to make sure your response fully addresses all parts of the task. The essay touches on the implications of AI in education but lacks depth and does not fully discuss the advantages and disadvantages of AI as requested.
task response
Improve on presenting clear and focused main ideas. The content currently appears underdeveloped and generalized, without specific detailed examples or evidence to support your points.
task response
Ensure relevance of your examples. The essay requires concrete and relevant examples or evidence to support the discussion, which were largely missing in your response.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and logically grouped information supporting that idea.
coherence cohesion
Enhance logical progression of ideas. The essay should have a more coherent structure with clear transitions and connectivity between the individual points made.
coherence cohesion
Support main points with developed explanations, details, and examples. Main ideas should be clarified and elaborated upon to show their relevance and to maintain the reader's interest.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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