IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

5- The pie charts show the trends in the Australian immigration from 1992 to 2002.

5- The pie charts show the trends in the Australian immigration from 1992 to 2002.
The pie chart diagram
demonstrate
Change the verb form
demonstrates
show examples
 the shifts in the immigrating to
Australia
Use synonyms
 between 1992 and 2002.
Overall
Linking Words
,people from 9
continent
Use synonyms
 has moved
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
Australia
Use synonyms
. Most immigrants came from 3 major
Use synonyms
continent
Change to a plural noun
continents
show examples
:Europe and
former
Correct article usage
the former
show examples
 USSR, Southeast Asia and Northeast Asia. There were two countries that
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 the same
since
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1992 to 2002,which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 North America and
Middle
Correct article usage
the Middle
show examples
 East(North Africa) which has
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
7% from the
overall
Linking Words
 100% pie chart. These
three
Use synonyms
 Major
Use synonyms
continent
Change to a plural noun
continents
show examples
 still remain
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
three
Use synonyms
 highest from the 9
Use synonyms
continent
Fix the agreement mistake
continents
show examples
. Their statistic in 1992 was 24%,21%and20% from the order from above.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 in
2002
Add a comma
2002,
show examples
 the statistic has
decrease
Change the verb form
decreased
show examples
 but it is still the highest
from
Change preposition
among
show examples
 the other 6
Use synonyms
continent
Change to a plural noun
continents
show examples
. In 1992 the continental that
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 a low % of
immigrating
Replace the word
immigrants
show examples
 into
Australia
Use synonyms
, but in 2002
these 6
Change the determiner
this 6 continent
these 6 continents
show examples
continent
Use synonyms
 that
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 a low percentage of
immigrating
Replace the word
immigrants
show examples
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased double of there percent from 1992. In conclusion, many
Use synonyms
continent
Change to a plural noun
continents
show examples
that has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 a low immigrating into
Australia
Use synonyms
 in 1992, these
continent
Use synonyms
 had been increasing their percentage of moving into
Australia
Use synonyms
 double
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their old data
such
Linking Words
 as Oceania which
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
10% of immigrating in 1992 but
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 22% of immigrating in 2002, the
last
Linking Words
 point which has a change in the pie chart is the
three
Use synonyms
 major
continent
Use synonyms
, in1992 it has a statistic of 24%,21% and 20% which has an decreased in 2002 and these
three
Use synonyms
 major
continent
Use synonyms
 are
also
Linking Words
 the only
three
Use synonyms
 that has a decreased from the other 6
continent
Use synonyms

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words australia, continent, three with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
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