5- The pie charts show the trends in the Australian immigration from 1992 to 2002.
The pie chart diagram
demonstrate
the shifts in the immigrating to Change the verb form
demonstrates
Australia
between 1992 and 2002.
Overall
,people from 9 continent
has moved into
Change preposition
to
Australia
. Most immigrants came from 3 major continent
:Europe and Change to a plural noun
continents
former
USSR, Southeast Asia and Northeast Asia. There were two countries that Correct article usage
the former
remain
the same Wrong verb form
remained
since
1992 to 2002,which Change preposition
from
is
North America and Correct subject-verb agreement
are
Middle
East(North Africa) which has Correct article usage
the Middle
a
7% from the Correct article usage
apply
overall
100% pie chart.
These three
Major continent
still remain Change to a plural noun
continents
top
Correct article usage
the top
three
highest from the 9 continent
. Their statistic in 1992 was 24%,21%and20% from the order from above. Fix the agreement mistake
continents
However
in Add a comma
However,
2002
the statistic has Add a comma
2002,
decrease
but it is still the highest Change the verb form
decreased
from
the other 6 Change preposition
among
continent
. In 1992 the continental that Change to a plural noun
continents
has
a low % of Wrong verb form
had
immigrating
into Replace the word
immigrants
Australia
, but in 2002 these 6
Change the determiner
this 6 continent
these 6 continents
continent
that has
a low percentage of Wrong verb form
had
immigrating
Replace the word
immigrants
has
increased double of there percent from 1992.
In conclusion, many Unnecessary verb
apply
continent
Change to a plural noun
continents
that has
a low immigrating into Wrong verb form
had
Australia
in 1992, these continent
had been increasing their percentage of moving into Australia
double of
their old data Change preposition
apply
such
as Oceania which has
Wrong verb form
had
a
10% of immigrating in 1992 but Correct article usage
apply
has
22% of immigrating in 2002, the Wrong verb form
had
last
point which has a change in the pie chart is the three
major continent
, in1992 it has a statistic of 24%,21% and 20% which has an decreased in 2002 and these three
major continent
are also
the only three
that has a decreased from the other 6 continent
Submitted by dondollaraus on
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words australia, continent, three with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
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